Friday, November 30, 2007

Evel Knievel bites it. For real, this time. I'm serious. He' dead.

A mixture of hepatitis C, diabetes and pulmonary fibrosis finally took down Evel Knievel. Who, let's face it, was on borrowed time any way you look at it.

Bring on, Bill-O!

After years of avoiding Al Franken, Keith Olbermann and a slew of intelligent people who could put him in his place, and who have had enough of his boorish and irresponsible style of "Journalism" on Fixed News, Bill Orally has finally met his match.

Check it out at the Huffington Post


Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Celebrating a Holiday Train-Wreck

r_Christmas Yoda

This year marks the twenty ninth anniversary of George Lucas' epic disaster THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL.

It was broadcast in its entirety in the United States only once on Friday, November 17, 1978 on CBS-TV from 8:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.
Though Lucas claims not to have been involved, and not pleased with the end result. He was later responsible for Jar Jar, The Ewoks, and 2 Ewok Movies. You be the Judge.

The film is sprinkled with Cameos, including (Embarassingly enough) most of the leads from the original feature.

Mark Hamill- Luke Skywalker
Harrison Ford- Han Solo
Carrie Fishe-r Princess Leia Organa
Anthony Daniels- C-3PO
Kenny Baker- R2-D2
Peter Mayhew- Chewbacca
James Earl Jones- Darth Vader (voice)
Bea Arthur - Ackmena
Art Carney -Trader Saun Dann
Diahann Carroll - Mermeia Holographic Wow
Jefferson Starship
Harvey Korman- Krelman/Chef Gormaanda/Amorphian instructor

Art Carney and Harvey Korman are the only two that seem to understand what a fucked-up piece of bantha shit this whole thing is, and their odd little comedy bits make it almost watchable. Almost. I'm not sure what happened with casting on this, but the Imeprial guards sportin' the stache and the oddly gesticulating Imperial officers make me think no one involved had ever seen Satr Wars. Bea Aruthr's Cantina song and dance routine is one of TV's biggest WTF moments, though Greedo proves to be no Gene Kelly. I had to pause it just to keep the bile down my throat. Incredibly, Carrie Fisher's song at the end makes the whole mess SO worthwhile, but only if you've suffered the entirety of the nearly 2 hr horror. Also of note, is the super seventies animated short that introduces Boba Fett to the world, conveniently located between hr 1 and hr 2.


The Star Wars Holiday Fiasco does not end with the TV horrors. A mostly unbearable Holiday album entitled CHRISTMAS IN THE STARS also made it onto store shelves.
With hits like :

wookie-lp**Available on LP

You can sample an audio taste of the acoustically unnerving hell HERE

Happy Life day to all!

Monday, November 26, 2007

A reminder.

To all of you who are bitching about how difficult I am, to those of you who take for granted the fucking fantastic shit i bring to your lives, to those of you who wonder "Why do I even hang out with him?".
Fuck you.

This is why:


Yeah it may be frustrating, but you know that no matter how shitty things get, and how crazy i may be, I'll never let this happen to either of us. So quit your bitching, and get on board.

"What a revoltin' development this is.."

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The most noble bird...

As is the tradition during this time of year, the noblest of birds is prepared and stuffed. As we can see from the picture, the Turkey has always held a very special place in American folklore, being an astute bird with obvious political proclivities.
It was Ben Franklin, who first noted the Turkey as being fowl with a fondness for freedom.

"For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.

"With all this Injustice, he is never in good Case but like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank Coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the District. He is therefore by no means a proper Emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our Country . . .

"I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America . . . He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on."

So make sure you stuff the defender of freedom with the best stuffing possible:

My Mom's Famous Recipe

1 cup melted butter
1 1/2 cups chopped onions
1 1/2 cups chopped celery
6 cups diced, tart apples (green/old granny)
2 teaspoons of salt
1 cup sugar
6 cups of small bread crumbs (herb seasoned)

In large pan combine butter, apples, celery and onions. Sprinkle with salt and sugar. Cook for 10 minutes until apples are browned all over. Add bread cubes.
Yields 12 cups.

"De mi propia cosecha

si haces el doble, no dobles la sal, a lo mejor la mitad pero primero pruebalo. Toma mas de 10 minutos a que agarren color las manzana, al menos en Colorado. Una vez que este todo revuelto incluyendo pan, le pones ya sabes que. Vino blanco, siempre cocina con vino barato. Abusado con el vino si le pones mucho te queda muy aguado.

Si tu vas a rellenar el pavo, antes de poner el relleno untas adentro del pavo mantequilla con seasoned salt y sage y tambien afuera. Abusado con la sal."

Now stuff it, you turkeys.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Lew Wasserman's Toilet

Whenever the issue of residuals comes up, some on the other side of the bargaining table like to start talking toilets. Specifically, they just love to trot out a quip allegedy made by the late studio mogul Lew Wasserman which goes something like this: "I don't pay the plumber everytime I flush my toilet."

Nice try.

But if the plumber had set it up so Mr. Wasserman's toilet spit out a thousand bucks everytime he flushed, you can bet your ass that plumber would have been beating down the door looking for his cut.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The You Tube Video that has everyone talking...

"Watch this clip and if you still do not understand why the WGA is striking -- with the full support of actors and teamsters, little old ladies and dogs all over the world -- then it is hopeless."
-Jon Baitz

Monday, November 12, 2007

Vich vay to..

Denne helg , JEG fikk det fabelaktig opportunity av være til stede sønnene av Norge Norrona Bo , helårlig Ludefisk middagen. Nu gjelder det , dem av du hvem ikke gjør det vite , Jeg har forsynt det fulgte liten forlagsreklame på hva Ludefisk er , og hvor det er fremstilt :

Lutefisk is made from air-dried whitefish (normally cod, but ling is also used), prepared with lye, in a sequence of particular treatments. The first treatment is to soak the stockfish in cold water for five to six days (with the water changed daily). The saturated stockfish is then soaked in an unchanged solution of cold water and lye for an additional two days. The fish will swell during this soaking, attaining an even larger size than in its original (undried) state, while its protein content decreases by more than 50 percent, producing its famous jelly-like consistency. When this treatment is finished, the fish (saturated with lye) has a pH value of 11–12, and is therefore caustic. To make the fish edible, a final treatment of yet another four to six days of soaking in cold water (also changed daily) is needed. Eventually, the lutefisk is ready to be cooked.
In Finland, the traditional reagent used is birch ash. It contains high amounts of potassium carbonate and hydrocarbonate, giving the fish more mellow treatment than sodium hydroxide (lyestone). It is important not to incubate the fish too long in the lye, because saponification of the fish fats may occur, effectively rendering the fish fats into soap. The term for such spoiled fish in Finnish is saippuakala (soap fish).

IMG_0039Deilig Ludfisk!

The famed Nowregian Duo of Jokes, Ole and Lena had this Hi-Larious zinger to contribute to the already vast pantheon of over the top Norse hilarity:

"Well, we tried the lutefisk trick and the raccoons went away, but now we've got a family of Norwegians living under our house!"
HAHAHAHAHAH! Oh man, that Ole and Lena. Funny cuz its too true.

So, as you can see, a lot of time goes into the savaging of fish and making of Lutefisk/Ludefisk. However, the abuse is not limited to the fish. Nanay, the test of your Norse will is tested by the lodgemen with a drink that is used as an aperif and lamp fuel.

AKVAVIT: Akvavit, like vodka, is distilled from either potato or grain. It is flavoured with herbs such as caraway seeds, anise, dill, fennel, coriander, and grains of paradise. The Danish distillery Aalborg makes an akvavit distilled with amber. The recipe and flavors differ between brands, but typically caraway is the dominating flavour.

IMG_0030Drikk Akvavit , for en hårete brystkasse.

The meal was pleasant, churchy, fun. Kids and old people, all vaguely attached to vikings and Norway, gathering as a community to prove to themselves and their Neighbors that they too have an appetitete for tradition and inedible cuisine.

In other words, it was, precisely what I had hoped. As for my adventureous palate, well let's just say I wouldn't seek out Lutefisk, but should it present itself, I will not turn it away. As for Norwegians and their desendants, I'd gladly seek them out, despite their culinary shortcomings.


And now for the Producer's Response.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

The WGA Strike for Dummies

I find it difficult to explain just how important this stirke is. The issues being negotiated right now by the writer's guild have reprocussions that will shape the industry for years to come. It affects actors, writers, agents, MANAGERS, crew members, publicists, everyone, and the WGA had the unenviable task of being up to bat first.

Originally, the WGA was set to strike in June, along side with the actor's guild (SAG). To avert the effect of a total work stoppage, the studios began stockpiling scripts. In retaliation, and to avoid a completely useless work stoppage, the WGA after consulting with its sister Unions, moved the strike up to November. And here we are. What lunatic demands have gotten us here? What sort of horrific pay-raise are the writers demanding, that they dare put the income of so many of us in Jeopardy? I'll let them explain.

The Hollywood of today is run by Major Corporations, SONY, AOL/TIME/WARNER, NBC UNIVERSAL, VIACOM, all huge comnglomerates with their fingers in many different pies. Under the Bush administration, Huge companies have thrived in an astoundingly irresponsible atmosphere where the difference between the haves and have nots is at its greatest since the Depression. It is not a coincidence that ALL the leading Democratic Presidential Candidates have come forward in support of the writers.

"I support the Writers Guild’s pursuit of a fair contract that pays them for their work in all mediums. I hope the producers and writers will return to the bargaining table to work out an equitable contract that keeps our entertainment industry strong and recognizes the contributions writers make to the success of the industry." - Hillary Clinton

"I stand with the writers. The Guild's demand is a test of whether media corporations are going to give writers a fair share of the wealth their work creates or continue concentrating profits in the hands of their executives. I urge the producers to work with the writers so that everyone can get back to work." - Barack Obama

"The striking Writers Guild members are fighting an important battle to protect their creative rights. These writers deserve to be compensated fairly for their work, and I commend their courage in standing up to big media conglomerates. As someone who has walked picket lines with workers all across America and as a strong believer in collective bargaining, I hope that both sides are able to quickly reach a just settlement.” - John Edwards

The Democratic Party's history of protecting the disadvantaged minority over the intrerests of Big Business speaks for itself, as does the silence of the GOP.

If You're still not convinced that the WGA should be putting the welfare of the city, the industry, and the state into such turmoil, ask yourself where do we draw the line? When exactly is it your turn to take a hit in order to stand up for what is right? This country is too accustomed to results without sacrifice. Now we are all being asked to sacrifice a little, to send a message to the business interests that control our industry that we are all equal partners in this community. We all go to the same restaurants, attend the same events, live in the same neighborhoods, and it is simply immoral to make millions off the backs of your friends and neighbors, and not distribute some of it in an equitable way. Call it nacent socialism, call it anti-capitalist, but i call it moral.

For more reading on the Strike i encourage both the readers of this blog to read the following Blogs:

United Hollywood
A writer's perspective blog of the strike

Scribe Vibe
A shockingly even handed blog about the strike by VARIETY

and of course

Deadline Hollywood Daily
LA Weekly writer Nikki Finke's incredibly detailed, just, and thorough blog, updated with all the strike news you could ever want. I smell a pulitzer, and I aint kidding.

And now for some celebrity cameos:

From the Office

LOST and Desperate Housewives

Happy Days

*** I received this while I was writing, and I plan to attend. Please join everyone in a show of Solidarity that this city and the Studios won't soon forget:

The big strike is Friday at 10:00AM at the Fox Lot. Everyone
who can, please come join us in showing our support for the WGA
Strike. If you still have a job and can't get out, please try to come
during your lunch break.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Remember, Remember the fifth of November

Remember, remember the fifth of November
 Writer’s Guild, anger and strike.
I see no reason, why the writers this season Should not take a hike.
Pat Varrone, pat, t'was his intent 
To disable all biz entertainment. 
Three score days they argu-ed.
Nick Counter nearly got ahead.
By God's mercy he was abate'd ,
The producer’s offer was much hated. 
So, holler boys, holler boys, Let the scribes yell. 
Holler boys, holler boys, give em all hell.

And what to do with this time, do you think? 

“I stand with the writers. The Guild’s demand is a test of whether corporate media corporations are going to give writers a fair share of the wealth their work creates or continue concentrating profits in the hands of their executives. I urge the producers to work with the writers so that everyone can get back to work.” - Barack Obama

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