Monday, September 29, 2008

The Visual Campaign

I got a few inquires after I posted the photoshopped Mccain portrait in my post WHY I LOVE WALNUTS. Where did I get that picture? Is it fair? Are there equally awful renderings of Barry Hussein?

From the dreamy and beautiful "O" of the Obama campaign, to the disastrous green background that continues to plague Mccain, the visuals of this presidential election have been incredibly stark in contrast. Sometimes purposefully and sometimes completely by accident. I'd encourage you all to visit the visual blog BAG NEWS NOTES for some truly scholarly (and inevitably a bit leftist) analysis of the images brought into our concious and sub conscious through the media. I'd also like to throw a tip of the hat to one of my favorite political photographers Richard Avedon, who passed away nearly four years ago, but who's portrait of a newly arrived political star named Barack Obama, is the consummate portrait of youthful ideals and hope in a politician.


What I find astounding about Avedon's work is how politically biased it is, and yet how even "mistreated" subjects returned to his studio. The vague, even lost look on Reagan, which became even more telling after his affliction was made public. The Melting Bush the Elder, the Yes-Man Rumsfeld, and the saintly Carter. Simon Schama wrote on the subject in far greater detail, but I suggest you read his guardian article if the art holds you as it does me.

Avedon Reagan


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

World Leaders: More badass than ever.

As if Barry Hussein and his mad ball skillz weren't enough.
obama basketball carolina

As if Sarko's hottie new wife weren't the most badass move to rock the Palais de l'Élysée since Félix Faure died while getting a hummer.

As if Pooty Poot's Judo doesn't bring terrified chills to those who would cross him.

Here comes Taro Aso from the Japan. More like Bad Aso. Check out this vid of Taro in the 1976 Olympics Skeet Shooting.


Why I love Walnuts!

So John McCain tried to cancel the debates as the Economy (Which he clearly doesn't understand) tanks as badly as his poll numbers. Naturally, the Republicans are trying to paint this as some sort of Mavericky move that only a leader would try. I heard some GOP shill on the teevee saying "He thinks its so important to fix this problem, that he's willing to risk the presidency." Hahahahahaha! They are going to lose. The fact is that the McCain camp and the Obama camp had been in talks to issue a joint statement before Walnuts freaked out and tried to cancel the whole thing. Had this been a true bipartisan effort to discuss the issues at hand, Walnuts could have asked Barry to hold off. Instead he tried to blindside the Hussein Obama and single-handedly change the momentum of the election by drawing attention away from the issues. "HEY! HEY! Look at me! I'm canceling the debate! Pay no attention to the bill the president is trying to force through with no oversight!" Unfortunately for Walnuts, the debate schedule can't be changed and the Debate commission has told him to eff off, the debate will go on. Now of course, we all know for sure that Walnuts is not ready, nor is he even remotely familiar with what is happening with the economy or is he prepared to answer why his campaign manager was being given 15k a month by Freddie Mac. Barry rightly told the kooky old bat to stuff it, and the debate will go on. With or without walnuts.

The End.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thumbs Down

BY ROGER EBERT Sun-Times Movie Critic
I think I might be able to explain some of Sarah Palin's appeal. She's the "American Idol" candidate. Consider. What defines an "American Idol" finalist? They're good-looking, work well on television, have a sunny personality, are fierce competitors, and so talented, why, they're darned near the real thing. There's a reason "American Idol" gets such high ratings. People identify with the contestants. They think, Hey, that could be me up there on that show!

My problem is, I don't want to be up there. I don't want a vice president who is darned near good enough. I want a vice president who is better, wiser, well-traveled, has met world leaders, who three months ago had an opinion on Iraq. Someone who doesn't repeat bald- faced lies about earmarks and the Bridge to Nowhere. Someone who doesn't appoint Alaskan politicians to "study" global warming, because, hello! It has been studied. The returns are convincing enough that John McCain and Barack Obama are darned near in agreement.

I would also want someone who didn't make a teeny little sneer when referring to "people who go to the Ivy League." When I was a teen I dreamed of going to Harvard, but my dad, an electrician, told me, "Boy, we don't have the money. Thank your lucky stars you were born in Urbana and can go to the University of Illinois right here in town." So I did, very happily. Although Palin gets laughs when she mentions the "elite" Ivy League, she sure did attend the heck out of college.

Five different schools in six years. What was that about?

And how can a politician her age have never have gone to Europe? My dad had died, my mom was working as a book-keeper and I had a job at the local newspaper when, at 19, I scraped together $240 for a charter flight to Europe. I had Arthur Frommer's $5 a Day under my arm, started in London, even rented a Vespa and drove in the traffic of Rome. A few years later, I was able to send my mom, along with the $15 a Day book.

You don't need to be a pointy-headed elitist to travel abroad. You need curiosity and a hunger to see the world. What kind of a person (who has the money) arrives at the age of 44 and has only been out of the country once, on an official tour to Iraq? Sarah Palin's travel record is that of a provincial, not someone who is equipped to deal with global issues.

But some people like that. She's never traveled to Europe, Asia, Africa, South America or Down Under? That makes her like them. She didn't go to Harvard? Good for her! There a lot of hockey moms who haven't seen London, but most of them would probably love to, if they had the dough. And they'd be proud if one of their kids won a scholarship to Harvard.

I trust the American people will see through Palin, and save the Republic in November. The most damning indictment against her is that she considered herself a good choice to be a heartbeat away. That shows bad judgment.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Happy LHC/CERN Day!

Today the LHC is turned on at CERN!

If the world were to end today, then it ended in pursuit of knowledge and not in barbaric mutual annihilation.
But we all know it won't end, and we'll be launched into a really exciting new era of understanding the world we live in.


From the BBC:

"On Wednesday the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) will send out a full particle beam, in preparation for an experiment that will re-create conditions just after the Big Bang.
The LHC will smash two beams of particles head-on at super-fast speeds. Scientists from Cern - the European organisation for nuclear research - hope to see new particles in the debris of these collisions.
There have been concerns that the experiment could open black holes that would swell in size and swallow up the Earth, but physicists stress that the planet is not under threat."




For more awesome CERN Vids and Pics go HERE!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

A Children's Treasury of Hatred, Lies, Ignorance, and Greed (RNC 08')

I've decided to reserve my comments on John McCain and Sarah Palin until after Walnuts delivers his speech tonight.

But before I start in with my elitist misogyny and ageism, I'd like to address the brass pair of the GOP. To present their losing nominee, the GOP in all its fervent glory,while beholden to the most corrupt and incompetent presidency of at least the last hundred years and proclaiming themselves as "REAL CHANGE" , paraded the most turdish trio of world-class hacks that have ever addressed a pack of vapid, howling, blood-thirsty, war mongering hate-douches. I refer of course to the lispful rat-demon Rudy 9u11iani, the pathetic pasty blob of sniveling treachery and self-loathing named Joe Lieberman, and "Folksy", lazy, lying, fucktard Fred Thompson of Hollywood (Via Tennesee).

While the DNC trots out Presidents and Vice Presidents, sitting Senators and civil rights leaders, the party of Nixon headlines a former mayor who's personal life and cheap politicizing of national tragedy will make future generations shit themselves with disbelief at early millennial politics. His stream of unbelievable bullshit and pathetic simplification of geopolitics continues to infect my sense of decency. Rudy Gulianni will be forever remembered as a man who had the opportunity for great things and instead squandered it for his own vulgar self interests by becoming a propagator of lies and a complete shill for a corrupt administration. Was he seriously STILL trying to make the case for Iraq being part of "The war on Terror"? Really? Osama Bin Laden in Iraq, right? That's what this guy was lisping at the head cases there, or at least insinuating.

This was their keynote speaker.

If you are a desperate party who is on the verge of being crushed by the weight of your own corruption and unlawful scandals, you tend to bring out some of the most loathsome trolls possible to rally the base and appeal to their base instincts. When you have no true moral compass, it makes sense to trot out an Armani clad, degenerate weasel to terrify you, while your mind continues to race with thoughts of wild, teenage hillbilly sex. They were practically foaming at the mouth.

Next you show just how great your candidate is by parading a loser. A Jew who hangs out with anti semites, a Democrat who hangs out with Republicans, or simply whomever will have him. Joe Leiberman is a sad sack of worthless turncoat. When you are a party who claims to have "Values" and those values are extolled by someone who lacks the moral strength to pick a side, you may as well join Joe on his toboggan of "Joementum" down shit hill.

In case your supporters hadn't drowned in hypocrisy, you feed them some more. You talk down to them. You assume because they are working class that the only thing they'll understand is hate and war and dialects. You hope that like "W" they'll want to share a beer with your party. But real working class people aren't doing so well, and they may say something like "Foreclosure" so you find an actor. You parade the lazy Frederick of Hollywood. You have him talk about your candidate in warm folksy tones. Why Sheeeit, he sounds like he's cheewin tabakky!
"That MUST mean they's gots our interests in minds, cuz this here beet colored actor boy tells us so. And the media hates us, jess like theys hated Ronnil Raygun. Hyuck Hyuck Hyuuuck."

I'm not going to rip on Alaska-lady Sarah Palin or on Walnuts just yet. I'm going to let Walnuts do his thing, that's all.

Have fun with your convention, guys!

Picture 1

Monday, September 01, 2008

Best of DNC

Holy moly! I know a few of you are out there seeking political guidance. We have so much to discuss! So much has happened, but i have to make sure everyone has seen the same things . So before we talk about Barry and Uncle Joe, before we talk about Hillz and Bubba, before we discuss Walnuts and find a nickname for Sarah Palin, lets make sure we saw the same things at the DNC in my home state's capital of DENVER.

Teddy made an appearance, which was awesome.

There was still fear of Party Disunity by PUMA retards as Hillz's speech loomed, and Tweety got into it with one particularly retarded Hilltard.

Then Seabiscuit Said some Stuff.

The Governor of Montana was awesome.

Hillz Rocked the House

As Did Bubba

and Joe

And Finally Barry

Everyone cried, and went home.

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