Sunday, October 26, 2008
When Colin Powell endorsed Obama a week ago, McCain said "I’m also very pleased to have the endorsement of four former secretaries of state, Secretaries (Henry) Kissinger, (James) Baker, (Larry) Eagleburger and (Alexander) Haig." A whos who of war criminals, wingnuts and other Republican goons who have held the title.
Classic Walnuts, who in his doddering epic failure didn't notice the key thing about Powell's endorsement. HE'S a REPUBLICAN!
Here's a hap hap happy list of other Republicans who had to jump off the crazy bus.
* Colin Powell: Jesus, was that already a week ago? So what was the “Powell Effect,” if any? Pretty good, considering most endorsements don’t matter much. Gallup says 12% of voters are “more likely” to vote for Obama. And 80% of voters had actually heard about the endorsement, which is pretty good for you dummies.
* Ken Adelman: Neo-con insider, hired by Rumsfeld in the Nixon Administration and was a top guy both times Rumsfeld was defense secretary — under Ford and Bush Junior. “He introduced Cheney to Paul Wolfowitz at a Washington brunch the day Reagan was sworn in,” the New Yorker writes. Well, maybe he’s just trying to get some good karma before he dies. No impact with voters; nobody really knows him outside of Washington. But it gives more elderly Republican elitists the freedom to also break with McCain, because McCain is “impetuous, inconsistent, and imprudent; ending up just plain weird,” according to Adelman.
* William Weld: A U.S. attorney and Justice Dept. official hired by Giuliani during the Reagan administration, Weld was the Republican governor of Massachusetts from 1991-1997. God, it’s really the same dozen people who’ve been fucking up this country for half a century. So, Weld’s also trying to avoid the Fires of Hell, and has heartily endorsed the black communist Barack Obama.
* Arne Carlson: Former governor of Minnesota, lifelong Republican, this “maverick” said batshit goon Michele Bachmann’s freakout on Hardball helped make his decision to endorse Obama. Will matter to moderate Republicans and independents in MN, and could hurt Bachmann’s bloodied campaign, too.
* Scott McClellan: The former Bush spokesman is already a Demon-Queer to the wingnuts because of his mildly critical book about his White House years, so his Obama endorsement will not sway those people. But he’s well known because he was on the teevee all the time, promoting Bush and the GOP, so this could help in the mysteriously “undecided” category. Or those people might vote for Jennifer Aniston, who knows?
* C.C. Goldwater: The granddaughter of conservative saint Barry Goldwater says she will say yes to Kenyan Socialism, too — along with “my siblings and a few cousins.” The libertarian side of the GOP peeled away long before Obama got the Democratic nomination, but this might still matter in places where the Goldwater name is still powerful. Places like Arizona, where “favorite son” John McCain was famously hated by Barry Goldwater.
* Charles Fried: The solicitor general in Reagan’s second term and one of those few “conservative intellectuals” left on the planet, Fried was actually part of the McCain campaign until last week. After he endorsed Obama, Fried “asked that his name be removed from the several [McCain] campaign-related committees on which he serves.”
The real impact of these nearly daily defections from the GOP to Obama may just be in their relentlessness, the way each morning’s news has yet another prominent conservative renouncing John McCain and endorsing the Democrat. There is no modern precedent for this kind of painful, public dumping on the Republican candidate by Republican stalwarts — the last time it happened was 1964, when moderate Republicans washed their hands of Barry Goldwater for being an “extremist” and a scary loon who would get us all nuked. He wouldn’t become a saint until Reagan was elected in 1980.
And it was Ronald Reagan who, while running for governor of California just two years after LBJ slaughtered Goldwater 61%-38%, created the “11th Commandment,” to keep Republicans from eating their own:
“Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican.”
That’s dead now, too.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Christopher Columbus, which means “Our Lord’s Anus” in Portuguese, was a famous wingnut racist who didn’t even know where he came from, but he was hired by a shadowy cabal of Spaniards and the Knights Templar to find an easier route to the emerging economies of Communist China, because the Islamo-Fascists had blown up the highway to Afghanistan!
Because “Cristóbal Colón” couldn’t even do basic math, he “computed” that the world was about seven miles around. So if he sailed west across the Atlantic, surely he would end up in Hong Kong in like four days. Everyone thought this was a great idea, in Spain. So the Knights Templar loaded all of Jesus’ mulatto children aboard Miss Maria’s Ford Pinto and off they sailed on the world’s first shitty Royal Caribbean Cruise. They landed in the beautiful Bahamas and gave all the locals syphilis, which is exactly what happens today at those “Sandals” all-inclusive resorts.
In October of 1500, he was arrested for constantly torturing everybody in the Haitian town he founded, Abu Ghraib.
Eventually, six weeks later, Franz Ferdinand let him out of prison and World War I began. Columbus spent his final crazy years writing a blog about how he was going to take Jerusalem back from the Iraqis.
So, no mail delivery today!
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Break their back, crush their spirits
Thu Oct 09, 2008 at 11:14:58 AM PDT
See, here's the deal -- we're going to win the White House, we're going to win big in the Senate, and we're going to rack up big gains in the House. Republicans know this and are preparing for the worst. Now think of 2004 -- we really thought Kerry was going to pull it off. Remember that? And remember how utterly devastated we were when Bush pulled it off? The pain was so much worse because we expected to win.
So with conservatives bracing for the worse, they won't experience the kind of pain we did. Not unless we deliver a defeat even worse than their worst nightmares. And I'll be honest with you -- I want them to hurt as much as we did. I want their spirits crushed, their backs broken.
So the way we do that is we deliver a defeat worse than they every imagined. We do that by winning states that have no business turning Blue -- like North Carolina, Georgia, Indiana, and so on -- states that were easy Bush victories in 2004. We do that by electing a 60-seat supermajority in the Senate. We do that by defeating their leadership, like Mitch McConnell in the Senate. We do that by defeating their heroes, like wingnut go-to hero John Shadegg. We do that by making sure a record number of Americans reject conservative ideology, leaving it utterly discredited.
The day after the election, I want to see an electoral battlefield littered with defeated Republicans, their ranks demoralized, their treasury in heavy debt, and no real leadership to take the helm. I want a vacuum so complete, that a bloody leadership battle between the neocons, theocons, and corporate cons shakes the GOP to its core, and leaves it fractured and ill-equipped to stymie the progressive agenda, much less ramp up for an even bleaker (for them) 2010.
Guys, that's why I don't worry about complacency. We're not out to win this thing. We're out to crush them. And that's going to require a level of engagement beyond anything you've ever done before. It'll mean more phone banking, more canvassing, more donating. Work on this site keeps me from working the phones or walking precincts (my wife has helped out on those fronts), but I've surrendered a significant portion of my income, way more than my family can really afford, on behalf of the cause. We've all got something to offer, whether it's time or money, and now's the time to offer what we can.
One of my favorite cyclists likes to say, "Leave everything on the road", meaning that when he crosses the finish line, he will have burned every last ounce of energy in his body. If he falls short? No regrets because he gave it his all, every last bit of it.
We can't have regrets on Election Night, thinking that some Democrats came up short because we failed to leave everything on the road. We can't have a Jim Martin or a Bob Lord or a Darcy Burner or whoever come inches from victory, knowing that maybe we could've done just a little bit more to help them cross the finish line victorious. Even if all you can give is $5 to one candidate, or one afternoon phone banking, it still matters. There's a lot of us, and a lot of little gestures adds up to a whole lot of action.
We are approaching a historic night, and one that can radically transform the direction of our country.
Donate your time, donate your money.
Leave everything on the road.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Unscripted television isn't my favorite. I don't mean unscripted like documentaries or Dirty Jobs, or Mythbusters even. No, I'm talking about all MTV programming and any sort of contest or race. From the parade of mediocrity that is Top Designer, to the painfully dull Next Producer and all the Rock of NY Love, or whatever the hell they are calling that tragedy now. I am not one for watching untalented people being fast tracked to fame and failure. Bo Bice, Taylor Hackford, where art thou?
There are two shows however, that manage to pit professionals against each other and may truly find true "Stars" within the talented ranks of their contestants by requiring professional results. One is TOP CHEF, and the other is PROJECT RUNWAY. Now, I was turned on to Project Runway by my roommate, who kicking and screaming, made me watch one episode of a marathon. Needless to say, I was impressed.
I'm not a fan of couture per-se, but certainly I am a fan of elegance and taste despite my facebook profile. During these monumental, hard fought, and historic elections, we had an enormous dichotomy in taste that i think highlights a major cultural divide in this nation.
To be frank, the last eight years have been some of the tackiest, most visually offensive and culturally bankrupt years in American history. And yes, that includes the reconstruction years when U.S Grant would walk around pants less, smoking a cigar and spitting bits of "Tabacky" on orphaned children. Even Queen Victoria remarked "We wish he would sport some trou."and ostracized that tacky boor. But the jingoism and chest beating of a post 9/11 world gave way to a free for all of our most base instincts, culminating in the superbly tacky Iraq war, awful imagery, and Britney Spear's breakdown.
Then, after Kerry's abortive attempt, and four more horrific years of "heh heh" from the White House, came the elections. It was a sight to behold really. Do we go with the lumbering tacky symbols and behavior of the last eight years? Or do we go with the smooth, visually pleasing, and classy change?
I could go on for hours about the "Wasilla Hillbillies" and their teen sex debut at the RNC, but the fact is, that now is the time for healing. We need to reach out to those who think THIS is ok.
Our president elect has decided to take the high road and, not rub it in dumb, gun-toting, racist, tacky ass red America's face, but rather bring them into the fold and thereby change the country, I mean SERIOUSLY change the country forever.
To this end, I recommend that President-elect Obama create the new cabinet-level post of Secretary of Taste. Furthermore I nominate Mr. Tim Gunn to fill the spot effective immediately.
I hardly need to give you Tim's credentials. He is the sleek asexual master of style that makes european monarchs look like inbred iron mongers.
Let's say, that GW Bush had tried to pass off the Iraq war on Tim. I can see the ever cautious Mr. Gunn saying
"Hmm. Ok, i can see what you mean to say here, but its not working for me. It feels rushed. Let's actually find some WMD's and I think that will make more sense. Ok? Just make it work."
Voila! One war/ quagmire avoided.
The fact is, that Tim Gunn is a careful methodical thinker. His every move and utterance is carefully calculated and phrased so as not to be disruptive, but rather constructive. THAT is what makes Tim Gunn a national treasure, and THAT is what this country needs more of.
No more knee jerk reactions, no more "Let's roll!" bumper stickers, no more mindlessly hating on the French, no more scapegoating, no more carelessness. As the inaugural looms in less than a week now, I return to my favorite quote from my favorite Kennedy "Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that." , and in the spirit of our new President and Project Runway, do our part to "Tame the Savageness of man" and avoid plaids and stripes.