Twitter Killers?

I know. I know. This is my second post in a row about Twitter that has a question as its title. I know the posts have been Social Media heavy lately, and I know I owe you all my analysis of Chicago's failed bid for the 2016 games, but bear with me my dears, as I spin a yarn of greed, ego, and the powers that our personal accounts and engagement are up against.

Gather round Tweeps, and Facebook friends. Tumblrs and MySpace pervs.

The whole thing began about a month and a half ago when one of the top 6 agencies in town sent over someone who referred to himself as a "Social Media Agent" to meet with the celebrity I work with from time to time. Astounded at the notion, since social media doesn't pay off directly, and talent agencies are very aggressive in monetizing everything, and 10% of nothing is bupkes, I was eager if not thrilled to see what this guy knew and what his insight might be into monetizing SM.

When he arrived, I was a touch shocked. Was it possible that a man well into his forties could have insight into SM ? I'm in my early thirties and I can barley keep up, could it be that this man had the tech savvy that I lacked and therefore some sort of insight into monetization that would make everyone very rich? I listened to his pitch with five people present in the room.

The pitch went as follows:

There is a huge amount of money to be made by celebrities who Tweet.

He has a Company that is willing to pay per commercial tweet according to the amount of followers a celebrity may have.

The company hosts a variety of brands that the celebrity can choose from, so the celeb could choose brands that are applicable.

The company requires every fifth tweet to be a commercial with up to 40 tweets a day for it to be profitable.

With the formula pitched, Ashton Kutcher could make over one million dollars monthly.



Naturally there were questions to be asked.

Firstly, the Celebrity in question has an honest but unimpressive 5k followers. Not nearly enough for it to be worth it.

"That can be easily addressed with a service we employ that can artificially boost your numbers. We could have you up to 50k in 2 weeks."

They don't pay per click, they pay per follower?

"Yes, but who knows how long they'll be doing that for. So we have to get on this right away so we can get the numbers up and the tweets going."

Is the tool you use to boost the numbers Ok by twitter?

"Well, not exactly. Which is another reason why we would need to get on this right away."

Who else is doing this?

"Well, if say Ashton Kutcher would do it.."

Is he?

"No, but if he were.."

Why wouldn't he want an extra 1 million a month?

"I don't know."

Ok, so Ashton doesn't do it, but you haven't told us who. So who else would be interested in doing something like this?

"Well, we want to keep clients protected."

At this point the celebrity interjected. "Do I have to tweet and choose the ads myself or can my guys do it?"


"Oh for sure your staff can do it, 40 daily tweets is a lot."

The celeb's assistant sank into his chair. But the feeling of all in the room is that this bit of sketchiness would not see the light of day. I was glowing at being able to thwart something that would be detrimental not only to the celeb's brand, but to the Twitter community as well. After all, posting for a profit defeats the idea of sharing. Its filling a quota and manipulating. It goes against what the Twitter community is all about, and leaves the door open for the profit hungry "Man" that drove MySpace into the ground. I had come head to head with the capitalist machine and managed to defend my online socialist utopia for another day. God bless the EFF and Creative Commons, keep your filthy corporate greed out of our web, etc. etc. ad nauseum.

This was 45 days ago.

Yesterday it all resurfaced with the acquisition of 2 interns who's duties include Tweeting. Calls were made and the whole mess is a "go". Now it is up to the Twitter community to react. Do we reject advertisement as a part of feeds altogether? Is an individual endorsement more valuable when not contractual? (See? It does connect to the previous post.) All this remains to be seen. I have faith that something so sneaky and ill conceived has little to no place in the twitterverse. However, i have noticed something that insists on a caveat for this sort of marketing on Twitter.



Which leads to this site.



Although i believe that weight loss products and Acai Berry drinks are beneath LAist, their tweets are transparent, and we do not expect a personality or a connection to a website like we would a brand. Their twitter feed is simply links to their blog and their blog makes money off of ads, ergo this is fair play. This cannot be said of corporations and celebrities who use twitter to further their personal brand. Their unspoken contract with the web and in social media participation is to provide the public with information about themselves with goodwill and without trying to make a cynical buck off of us. However, if we find ourselves following celebs, and clicking on their every link with the same blindness with which we accepted hookers and club promoters as our MySpace "friends" then the FAIL Whale is upon us and we can only watch the potential of yet another Social Networking site diminished and destroyed by corporate greed. It really is up to us.

We're Going to need a smaller boat.

Roy Richard Scheider
November 10, 1932 – February 10, 2008
Chief Brody of the Amity PD and Bob Fosse impersonator extraordianiare, has shuffled off his mortal coils due to a gnarly Staph infection.

Bye Bye Life.

We shall overcome...

My brother and i were happy to see civil rights pioneer, former Atlanta Mayor and family friend Andy Young on the Colbert Report last night.

We were even more psyched to see him singing a spiritual in solidarity with Stephen's striking writers.

Lest the AMPTP think they've scored a victory with the few returning shows, sing it gang!

A Piracy Primer

The DGA is beginning its negotiations with the AMPTP and once more the Internet becomes the sticking point, Steve Jobs announces internet deals with studios, the music industry reject a DRM free iTunes, and seals its doom, Alf has a blog. there's no denying it, the internets has reached Hollywood.

To add to the mayhem,awards season has plunked smack-dab into the middle of a strike-ridden tinsel town, and regardless of whether the shows go on or not, the screeners are out. Every year the studios send out hundreds of screeners to SAG , WGA, AAMPAS, and several other union and academy voting members to insure that the voting members have a chance to view their wares.

Sweeney Todd, No Country for Old men, Thee Will be Blood, Eastern Promises, Juno, and many more have been made available to the Hollywood community on an honor basis, with the tacit understanding that we all make our money this way, so its best not to pirate the screeners. Naturally, people would rather have the immediate personal gratification of a pirated disk than consider the effects on their industry at large. So every year, it is the unspoken reality that everyone plays "Trade the Screeners" with industry peers at all levels. But truly, what ARE the effects of a few dozen pirated screeners running rampant and (Gasp!) on the Internets?

For a few years now, my friends have heard me touting the superiority of the Disney business model over that of most major studios for having long ago included piracy as a component of the what drives the profit margins up or down. On the opposite side we are watching the obliteration of the music industry through their inability to deal with the dissemination of their product by the public. In a world where a kid in Hong Kong can produce a CG Optimus Prime, while the Transformers movie is a year away from beginning production, and DJ Danger Mouse creates a hit by remixing Beatles tracks on the grey album, how is the industry to survive the spread of ideas and intellectual property?

Admittedly, I am biased. I am a leftist and a blogger, with more "Stolen" images on my site than i care to admit to. Even then, i feel very strongly that the entertainment industry should heed the warnings of the music industry, and with as much respect to the late Jack Valenti as possible, adapt their business models to include the inevitable proliferation of material around the world, and to view the use of their material by third parties as a potential source of new materials rather than theft.

Heady stuff, huh?

To better understand the issue, I am posting the following three vids.

The first is a very basic explanation by Matt Mason (The Pirate's Dillema) on how youth culture has basically reinvented capitalism. He opens the doors to an exciting creative world that uses cool judgement to differentiate between "Good" and "Bad" piracy and utilizes the "good" as tracking tools for strong memes or the even more exciting notion of new ideas.




The second two are a history of the dissemination of ideas and how they can be compared to the case of the PIRATE BAY in Sweden, and to a certain extent a warning that there is no way to really prosecute, or stall piracy. Both very informational in regards to the trends which we are facing.





After watching these and pondering the huge implications, as an industry professional ask yourself "Do we fight pirates, or learn from them?" There is only one answer that can secure the future of this industry, and its best to understand it now before it passes you by.

**** I feel strongly enough about this that I would like to encourage my friends in the industry to pass this on. If you make your living off of entertainment and have not seen these movies and are familiarizing yourself with the subject matter, you are doing so at your own risk.

My realistic and somewhat verifiable expectations for the duration of the Writer's Strike.

I have been running the scenarios over and over in my head as to what may happen, or what will bring an end to this tedious and harmful labor dispute. I came up with this theory last month, and the more people I run it by, the more I am convinced that I may be right... unfortunately.

I don't expect this strike to be over till August or September for the following reasons listed in hypothetical chronological order

1. The studios plan to allow force majeure clauses to be enacted. Dec. -Jan

2. Once so many contracts are in need of renegotiation it would be in their best interest to skip a costly pilot season altogether, and cancel the Network's shitty programming choices and "dead weight" programs. Feb-Mar

3. By skipping pilot season they can use the growing the desperation within the industry to try and put more pressure on the writers, and try to use the Oscars as a way to turn popular support against the WGA. Mar-Apr

4. It is then in the best interest of the writers not to give in, but rather have the added clout of a DGA/ SAG strike. Apr-Jun

5. It will optimistically take the Studios 2 months to negotiate with 3 striking unions. July-Aug..Sept?

The only caveat is the seeming willingness of the AMPTP to negotiate with the DGA as if THEY were the voice of reason, and the WGA's demands were lunatic. Considering that all three Unions are basically negotiating the same issues, the possibility of a DGA deal underlies the basic personality conflicts that have escalated this stupid stupid strike. What the hell? If there's enough money to go around, spread the friggin wealth, and let's get back to work!

*** The opinions expressed in this blog do not represent the opinions of my employers or my clients, so don't take it out on them.

Dave's Back!

Proving that the Writer's demands aren't crazy, World wide Pants has penned a deal that allows both Craig ferguson and Dave
Letterman's venerable Top 10 list was delivered on air by 10 of the real-life striking writers who picket almost daily with the Letterman scribes. Here it is:



Top 10 Demands of the Striking Writers
10. The Daily Show's Tim Carvell: "Complimentary tote bag with next insulting contract offer."
9. The Colbert Report's Laura Kraft: "No rollbacks in health benefits, so I can treat the hypothermia I caught on the picket lines."
8. Soap writer Melissa Salmons: "Full salary and benefits for my imaginary writing partner, Lester."
7. Law & Order: Criminal Intent's Warren Leight: "Members of the AMPTP must explain what the hell AMPTP stands for."
6. The Colbert Report's Jay Katsir: "No disciplinary action taken against any writer caught having inappropriate relationship with a copier."
5. The Daily Show's Steve Bodow: "I’d like a date with a woman."
4. Writer/director Nora Ephron: "Hazard pay for breaking up fights on The View."
3. Law & Order's Gina Gionfriddo: "I’m no accountant, but instead of us getting 4 cents for a $20 DVD, how about we get $20 for a 4-cent DVD?"
2. Late Night's Chris Albers: "I don’t have a joke – I just want to remind everyone that we’re on strike, so none of us are responsible for this lame list."
1. Writer Alan Zwiebel: "Producers must immediately remove their heads from their asses."

The craft

I work with actors daily. Some are a bit pompous and full of themselves, others are as sweet and genuine as you'd hope they'd be. However, i've been trying to really put my finger on what seperates a legend from your workaday actor.

I believe I found it in an old timey film called WAY OUT WEST. If an actor can pull something like this off, he or she is has a skill AND talent. That my friends, is worth its weight in gold around these parts.

"What a revoltin' development this is.."

The WGA Strike for Dummies

I find it difficult to explain just how important this stirke is. The issues being negotiated right now by the writer's guild have reprocussions that will shape the industry for years to come. It affects actors, writers, agents, MANAGERS, crew members, publicists, everyone, and the WGA had the unenviable task of being up to bat first.

Originally, the WGA was set to strike in June, along side with the actor's guild (SAG). To avert the effect of a total work stoppage, the studios began stockpiling scripts. In retaliation, and to avoid a completely useless work stoppage, the WGA after consulting with its sister Unions, moved the strike up to November. And here we are. What lunatic demands have gotten us here? What sort of horrific pay-raise are the writers demanding, that they dare put the income of so many of us in Jeopardy? I'll let them explain.




The Hollywood of today is run by Major Corporations, SONY, AOL/TIME/WARNER, NBC UNIVERSAL, VIACOM, all huge comnglomerates with their fingers in many different pies. Under the Bush administration, Huge companies have thrived in an astoundingly irresponsible atmosphere where the difference between the haves and have nots is at its greatest since the Depression. It is not a coincidence that ALL the leading Democratic Presidential Candidates have come forward in support of the writers.

"I support the Writers Guild’s pursuit of a fair contract that pays them for their work in all mediums. I hope the producers and writers will return to the bargaining table to work out an equitable contract that keeps our entertainment industry strong and recognizes the contributions writers make to the success of the industry." - Hillary Clinton

"I stand with the writers. The Guild's demand is a test of whether media corporations are going to give writers a fair share of the wealth their work creates or continue concentrating profits in the hands of their executives. I urge the producers to work with the writers so that everyone can get back to work." - Barack Obama

"The striking Writers Guild members are fighting an important battle to protect their creative rights. These writers deserve to be compensated fairly for their work, and I commend their courage in standing up to big media conglomerates. As someone who has walked picket lines with workers all across America and as a strong believer in collective bargaining, I hope that both sides are able to quickly reach a just settlement.” - John Edwards

The Democratic Party's history of protecting the disadvantaged minority over the intrerests of Big Business speaks for itself, as does the silence of the GOP.

If You're still not convinced that the WGA should be putting the welfare of the city, the industry, and the state into such turmoil, ask yourself where do we draw the line? When exactly is it your turn to take a hit in order to stand up for what is right? This country is too accustomed to results without sacrifice. Now we are all being asked to sacrifice a little, to send a message to the business interests that control our industry that we are all equal partners in this community. We all go to the same restaurants, attend the same events, live in the same neighborhoods, and it is simply immoral to make millions off the backs of your friends and neighbors, and not distribute some of it in an equitable way. Call it nacent socialism, call it anti-capitalist, but i call it moral.

For more reading on the Strike i encourage both the readers of this blog to read the following Blogs:

United Hollywood
A writer's perspective blog of the strike

Scribe Vibe
A shockingly even handed blog about the strike by VARIETY

and of course

Deadline Hollywood Daily
LA Weekly writer Nikki Finke's incredibly detailed, just, and thorough blog, updated with all the strike news you could ever want. I smell a pulitzer, and I aint kidding.

And now for some celebrity cameos:

From the Office


LOST and Desperate Housewives


Happy Days


*** I received this while I was writing, and I plan to attend. Please join everyone in a show of Solidarity that this city and the Studios won't soon forget:

The big strike is Friday at 10:00AM at the Fox Lot. Everyone
who can, please come join us in showing our support for the WGA
Strike. If you still have a job and can't get out, please try to come
during your lunch break.

Memories of Strikes gone by.. (A Photo Gallery)

As the WGA strike looms over Hollywood like a fire in the hills, the mind recoils in horror as the body gently sits this whole mess out, poolside with a drink. True, its difficult to imagine Marc Cherry and Patric Varrone overturning cars (Though I can easily picture Nick Counter pressure-hosing women and children). However, lest we be lulled into false security by the puffy nature of WGA membership, let us recall the strikes of yore through this pictoral stroll down Hollywood (STRIKE) Blvd.

1919 Actor's Strike


Actors' Equity joined the American Federation of Labor (AFL) and called a strike seeking recognition of the association as a labor union. The successful strike of 1919 ended the dominance of the Theatrical Syndicate, including theatre owners and producers like Abe Erlanger and his partner, Mark Klaw. Mark Klaw is credited as being the father of all draconian-sounding theater owners. The 1919 Strike also sees the very first Strike Photo Op, one of those hats is supposed to be Ethel Barrymore, who had made a comeback after beating her Laudanum adicction at age 10.

1941 Disney Animator's Strike







The bitter animators' strike of 1941 at Walt Disney Studios was a psychological turning point within the company. The strike had relatively little effect on Walt Disney's reputation with the public, who generaly could give a rat's ass about these kind of things, but damaged his standing with commies and pinkos who had heralded "jazz, porn, and the animated cartoon" as the three art forms which America had given to the world. The strike destroyed the paternalistic relation between Herr Disney and his animation staff, and cemented the studio's derogatory nickname of "the mouse factory". The strike turned violent when Disney struck his head animator with a wooden mallot, causing retaliation in the shape of an anvil dropped from the second story of the animation building. It was this strike that would ultimately cost Clara the Cow her career.

1945 Set Decorator's Strike (Holy shit! Don't fuck with decorators!)







Hollywood Black Friday is the name given, in the history of organized labor in the United States, to October 5, 1945. The WGA immediately submitted a complaint since it was not consulted on the name, and several other events had claim to the title. Regardless, on that date, a six month strike by the set decorators, represented by the Conference of Studio Unions (CSU) boiled over into a bloody riot at the gates of Warner Brothers' studios in Burbank, California. The strikes helped the passage of the Taft-Hartley Act in 1947, which was eventually replaced by the studios with the Hope-Crosby act, which was mistakenly believed to be more funny.

2000 SAG Commercial Strike





The commercials strike of 2000 was extremely gay. Some factions within SAG call it a success, asserting that it not only saved Pay-Per-Play (residuals) but it also increased cable residuals by 140% up from $1,014 to $2,460. Others suggest almost identical terms were available in negotiation without a strike, and if the actors had stopped their soliloqiues for a moment, they would have notcied. In the wake of the strike, SAG, and its sister union AFTRA, gathered evidence on over 1,500 non-members who had worked during the strike. SAG trial boards found Elizabeth Hurley and Tiger Woods guilty of performing in non-union commercials and both were fined $100,000 each, which was equal to the total box office gross of Bedazzled, and doomed TIGER!: The Musical.

2007 (Dare to dream.)

Don't Hassel the Hoff

The Hoff. The burger dropping, stretched out, weepy chanteur of today, is not too shockingly different from the cheeseball of Baywatch and Knight Rider. Yet in Europe the Hoff was and is a HUGE celebrity. His anthem "Looking for Freedom" became a huge hit as communist regimes toppled across Europe, and his impact was such that a captured Bosnian Sniper Rifle known as the HASSELHOFF MAUSER bore his likeness.
Now, far be it for me to judge our Euro Friends, god knows they gave us well, Western Civilization, something I am a notorious proponent of. However, despite all the wailing and gnashing of teeth I am somehow releived that the stewardship of western civilization and media has passed to the more saavy and less cheese encrusted hands of Hollywood. I hate to Imagine what would hapen if This went Global:




What can I say? I now know WHY Communism crumbled.



Do you think Kitt resents being used like that?

Shanks and Shivs For Prison Princesses

My friend found this while she was surfing on Etsy. I damn near pooped myself.



Check it all out HERE