Wednesday, June 21, 2006

21 Deaf Mutes Rock My World

I though this complicated dance routine was neat to watch before i found out that it was performed by 21 deaf-mute performers who had to get in sync with each other purely though sign language. “The 1,000-hand Kwan-yin” is roughly “goddess of mercy” in the Buddhist culture.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

World Premiere: My Prison

My friend Dinah beat me to the marvel that is YouTube. As my first attempt at web cinema, I am exposing everyone to the space where I am confined for most of my life.

Ladies and gents..

My Prison!

Friday, June 09, 2006


Let's begin this by saying I don't spook easily. My distaste for the Horror genre is not due to the fact that I can't stomach fright and gore, but rather i can't stomach bad plots and inane babble. Not to say I don't appreciate a good gore fest, or clever methods of bloody and cruel death. Take FINAL DESTINATION; a fine film by all accounts, that suffers the indignity of some of the most spoon fed dialogue.

Dude: Wait, you mean Death is STALKING us?
Girl: YES! Death feels cheated, and so it's coming to get us.
Dude2: So what you're saying is we are being hunted by Death.
Dude: Like, being stalked in a way.
Girl: Right! For cheating it.
Dude2: So DEATH itself is stalking us for cheating it.
Dude: That's waay fucked up, right there.
Girl: Totally


Dude: That's death for you.
Dude2: Always Stalking.

You get the point.

Furthermore, I don't believe in the supernatural. Oh, i'm open to it (Sort of) but the fact is that the people who see ghosts the most often, tend to be the people who wear pewter and crystals, and attend renaissance festivals. I'm not saying that you didn't see the apparition of your grandma just after she died, but, didn't.

So My skeptical and unaffected resume laid out before you, I must now divulge that my world has been thrown into turmoil by two products I've recently seen on TV. Two items for sale that have shaken my foundation.They are advertised as normal everyday things that one should take as normal, but they are either miracles, or witchcraft. You choose.

First let's begin with THIS thing.
Head On

Holy Jesus fuck! Are you kidding me with this? A wand. I mean, let's call a spade a spade. A wand that you rub on your head, and its odorless and traceless oil-free content will miraculously cure you of a Migraine.

This is either a fuckiing spell-casting stick of black magic, a Crock of shit, or a severe toxin to be avoided. Migraines are caused by anything from Old Cheese (No Joke) to excess sleep. So HOW IN ALL THAT IS SACRED AND HOLY can rubbing a stick on your forehead cure you of something caused by Caffeine, or Menses for that matter?

Bullshit or witchcraft? I may never know, because I'm not rubbing that thing on MY head.

This object, is my second connundrum.

It's not the notion of a Laser Level that freaks me to my very bowels. I speaka da laser. I had lazer tag as a kid, I have weilded a laser pointer in my day. I saw this moviegenius ...I KNOW about lasers. Or do I?

As seen on TV, this very laser level also "Rounds Corners". Let me repeat that.
This thing rounds CORNERS!? WHAT? This is LIGHT! No mirrors, nothing, just happens to turn the corner if the wall does. The difference between this and Head on, is that perfectly normal people have attested to this MIRACLE as if it were an everyday thing. I Pose to you, that if Jesus were futzing about in Galillee and decided to bend light around a corner, we would all say "That Jesus, always doing crazy shit."
But for someone to be able to order it for 19.99, and have a stud finder included is more for my noodle to contain. Light bending, magic wands, 666, the OC, I'm starting to believe that the end times are nigh. Now if you'll excuse me I have work to do on my box that lights up and brings the knowledge of the universe to my fingertips.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

HAPPY 6/6/06


My influence spreads...

We are everywhere...

As I was driving to work in Hollywood this morning, I pulled up alongside this Semi. Now, I know it's difficult to make out but near the fron of the cab where the company ID is usually located, it said UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS FREIGHT TRANSPORT, and below it were sybols from the Klingon Empire, The Romulan Empire, The Ferengi Trade Federation, and as the picture shows...varying degrees of Starfleet insignia. As if i weren't tickled Nerd-Pink by this if you look slightly beyond the Uberdork stickers, there's also a football sticker... can you make that out? huh? Can you? Yeah, it's the Broncos. Those of you who know me, well, let's just say I ruined a perfectly nice pair of pants.

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