Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Shuffling off those mortal coils


1913- 2005


Eddie: There are three things that Black people need to tell the truth about. Number one: Rodney King should've gotten his ass beat for being drunk in a Honda a white part of Los Angeles. Number two: O.J. did it! And number three: Rosa Parks didn't do nuthin' but sit her Black ass down!

Maybe so, but what an ass.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Always On My Mind


It's going to be a LOOOONG weekend.

October's finest week

So this has been apretty Kickass week in general.
Let's recap some of the Web's finest moments:


Awww...look at the darling little Neo Nazis!


Bob Saget and Dave Coulier are FILTHY!


Seems like the gang of LOST are acting like a bunch of drama QUEENS

Last but not least, I juss wanna give a shout-out to all my progressive brothas and sistahs out there. Good week everyone. Now let's get rid of MIERS CHENEY LIBBY ROVE DE LAY AND FRIST.

While we're at it, let's remember 2008


And just for Kicks...
This bitch is so fake, she's managed to master her only "look".

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Alf Needs...


Ok, so i stole this from my friend DINAH who's blog PUFF PIECE is permanently linked to on the sidebar.
The premise is as follows:

You go to google. You enter "YOUR NAME needs". Now I know my friends, and I know that they would never even consider typing "YOUR NAME", but if you are a random dipshit that stumbled across this, and were confused by the instructions...

Then google will respond with what you need. Then you post your five favorites. In no particular order.

ALF needs some sort of service registry.

* I couldn't agree more, I can't keep all my services in line as it is.

ALF needs to start a revolution of public opinion.

* what do you think this Blog is for?

Alf needs a family where he can be with people as much as possible.

*Oh god! It's like google can see into my SOUL.

ALF needs our help in raising funds to prevent, treat and cure hepatitis

* Please send checks or money orders c/o Alfredo LaMont...

ALF needs help with bathing and dressing himself.

*Please send your daughters and virgins c/o Alfredo LaMont...

Holy Shit!

All LaMont family members have their quirks. My dad for example, can't understand that restaurants don't serve Diet Root Beer. It never fails, we'll go out to outback, or chili's or some such place, and my father will burden the waitstaff with his request. DIET ROOT BEER. Does that even exist? Waitstaff tell their friends in the back, who I'm sure tell their families that some man has ordered Diet Root Beer again despite having been in last week, and had been denied his ficticious drink then as well. My mother has the tendency to insist almost violently, that people loosen up. She's been known to hit employees over the head with blunt objects, when they seemed not at ease enough at the employee xmas party. Me, I can't tie my shoelaces, but my brother has two very interesting issues that starngely convereged in Manchester england yesterday.

My father and brother are both members of the SIT ON THE CRAPPER FOR TWO HOURS WHILE READING ALL THE PAPER club.
I was not invited. Though I enjoy regular movements and reading material, I refuse to devote any more time than is necessary to the act of pinching a loaf. My brother and my father however, seem to have made the john their domain of two hours. I'm not airing family laundry and pooping habits for no reason. See, i've also always been wildly entertained by my brother's irrational fears. My brother has phobias that cover everything from horses, to driving in Los Angeles, to well...snakes. So you can imagine my giggling joy when i came across the following article.

snake in a pooper

A 10ft boa constrictor has been captured after popping up in the loos of a posh block of flats in Manchester.
The snake had terrified tenants since it was first spotted in a toilet last week, reports the Mirror.
It's believed to have been living in sewage pipes for three months after being abandoned by an evicted tenant three months ago.
People had to put bricks on their loo seats to stop the snake, which has been named Keith, slipping into their bathrooms.
Firemen were called in to try to track him down in the pipework but a brave resident of the West Didsbury flats finally trapped him in a bucket.
Keith is now in the care of the RSPCA.
Spokesman Jimmy Ratcliff, an expert on exotic animals, said: "They can swim very well and can hold their breath for more than 20 minutes - though what is out of the ordinary is the size of this snake.
"It has probably been eating rats in the sewer, where it appears to have been living quite happily."

Oh man, just the mental image of my brother prepping for poo, and finding a Boa on his sacred throne, is enough to send me into fits of hilarity.

Just wanted to share.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Indictment Bingo

Indictment Bingo
Originally uploaded by alflamont.
Any other Progressive tongues drooling? I saw the headline "DC Braces for Cheney Announcement" and I soiled myself.

Witch Hunt Anyone?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Some people...

Originally uploaded by alflamont.
So i answer and ad on craigslist for a roomate situation. She replies, saying that I'm an asshole.

I reply kinda confused...then this cutesy exchange gets posted on craigslist.
Please note she omits her original insult, and my inquiry.


Bottom of Page