Panda Porn (NSFW)

Evidently Pandas around the world seem to have a major issue on their hands. They can't seem to do the proverbial "Panda Nasty". Far be it for me to judge the gentle giants of Asia, but if that basic skill eludes your species, then perhaps extinction is an inevitabilty. Regardless, scientists who feel more ompassion for the beasties than i do, have decided that the best way to get the silly, duochromatic, snuggle-monsters to hump, is to show them Panda Erotica. Read the yawnfully dreadful story on CNN

HERE!

ENTER THE CITIZEN MEDIA

The notion of panda porn has spawned Panda Porn Dot ORG, a hilarious and deliciously crude series of panda porn...erm videos.

Click the Icon for all the naughty Pandaness

The Happiest Place on Earth Gets All Sorts of Jolly

This last weekend I spent two days at Disneyland.

Amazing what a large corporation will do to celebrate the Holidays.
LIVE REINDEER. And that was just the start. Take a look at some of the photographic highlights of my Disney weekend

HERE!

The Yellow Rose of Dickinson

As i was listening to NPR today I came across an interesting factoid:


Most, if not all of Emily Dickinson's poetry can be sung to the tune of THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS.

Oh, I know, I know. Why would anyone under 50 know THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS, and who cares about Emily Dickinson?

Well for starters, its good to know local songs when traveling. On many occasions I've been welcomed into the fold by xenophobic villagers for knowing the words to ROSAMUNDE, KALINKA, EIN PROSIT, O SOLE MIO, BRAZIL, and JAMBO BWANA. Furthermore I would argue that TEXANS are more likely to tote guns, and therefore being on their good side while amongst them can be an effective tool. Especially if you are a swarthy California liberal, as I am.

As for Dickinson, well... Just try it. For you teachers out there, this might be a useful tool for gettng those students to memorize "Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me"

In case you doubt, and is there REALLY a reason you should?

Emily Dickinson's poetry can be found

HERE!

And the tune to the YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS can be found

HERE!

Thanksgiving crawl

Danielle and I made stops at three Thanksgiving celebrations yesterday. Thanks to all our friends for being such wonderful hosts!



Please take a look at some pictures from our soirees

HERE!

Turkeys, the lot of em'

This Poem by William S. Burroughs is eerily prophetic considering the state of "Heightened Security" this nation seems to be in.


Thanksgiving Day, Nov. 28, 1986
William S. Burroughs
For John Dillinger
In hope he is still alive

Thanks for the wild turkey and the Passenger Pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts —

thanks for a Continent to despoil and poison —

thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger —

thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin, leaving the carcass to rot —

thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes —

thanks for the AMERICAN DREAM to vulgarize and falsify until the bare lies shine through —

thanks for the KKK, for nigger-killing lawmen feeling their notches, for decent church-going women with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces —

thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers —

thanks for laboratory AIDS —

thanks for Prohibition and the War Against Drugs —

thanks for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business —

thanks for a nation of finks — yes,

thanks for all the memories... all right, let's see your arms... you always were a headache and you always were a bore —

thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.

Fetal Fauna

Holy Moly!

It seems scientists haverecently taken some AMAZING pictures of anumals in utero.

Check this out!





You can see a few more pictures, including a fetal Dolphin

HERE!

For the sophisticated palate..

Due to popular demand, I will now share with you all my mother's famous Thanksgiving stuffing recipe.



1 cup melted butter
1 1/2 cups chopped onions
1 1/2 cups chopped celery
6 cups diced, tart apples (green/old granny)
2 teaspoons of salt
1 cup sugar
6 cups of small bread crumbs (herb seasoned)

In large pan combine butter, apples, celery and onions. Sprinkle with salt and sugar. Cook for 10 minutes until apples are browned all over. Add bread cubes.
Yields 12 cups.

De mi propia cosecha

si haces el doble, no dobles la sal, a lo mejor la mitad pero primero pruebalo. Toma mas de 10 minutos a que agarren color las manzana, al menos en Colorado. Una vez que este todo revuelto incluyendo pan, le pones ya sabes que. Vino blanco, siempre cocina con vino barato. Abusado con el vino si le pones mucho te queda muy aguado.

Si tu vas a rellenar el pavo, antes de poner el relleno untas adentro del pavo mantequilla con seasoned salt y sage y tambien afuera. Abusado con la sal.

Now stuff it, you turkeys.

Happy Brithday, Bobby.

"Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that."



He would have been 81 today.

The Day Kerouac Met Allen

One of the strangest but most wonderful moments on television. Jack Kerouac, looking intensely uncomfortable untill he starts reading his poetry and Steve Allen Does a Bang-Up job of providing some jazzy music.

SA: How would you define the word "Beat"?
JK: Sympathetic

Solid.

Jumpin' the gun, are ya boyo?

Oh you may scoff and snort, but its never too early, as you'll note on my handy countdown to St. Patrick's day at the bottom of my page. And this year, it'll be a whole new residence, woth my like-minded brother in tow.
And may I remind you all, this year The Feast of Saint Patrick falls on a Saturday? No excuses! None! You will all be there!

Throwback to a colorful innocence

Sesame street. After a day of whoring around in Hollywood, there's something very soothing about people who's work it is to create objects for the free expression of children's imginations. Kindly note, the workers look almost serene.

Animated Content of the Week

Both of these involve animals who are dreamers.

Kiwi will win an Academy Award Is My Guess.


And then, there's Potapych: The Bear Who Loved Vodka
Which SHOULD win an Academy award

Watch it

HERE!

Why Rudy will not be president.

Ok, this is my last political post for a while.

But i want you guys to know that Rudy Guiliani is a Jerk. He's too liberal for conservatives, and too much a pecker-head for liberals.

Communist Manifestoon

If you have 8 minutes, I encourage you to take a look at this reading of the communist manifesto interpreted by cartoons.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

He crapped bigger than me.. 1919-2006

Jack Palance: Actor, Lover, Perfumier? Poet? Jesus! Who wants to smell like cigarettes and TNT movies?
Jack Palance was eastern European, which certainly explains why he looked pissed off for most of his life.
Still, he was extremely influential in my youth when he creepily hosted RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT. His odd pauses and whispered emphysema induced rasp, convinced me at an early age, to not carve a niche for myself in westerns.

That's it. I didn't like City Slickers as much as everyone else, but i'm sad to see his crazy ass go.

Oh yeah! You can get the book of Poetry!!

HERE!

Sympatico

Indefensible Secretary

Here are my two favorite images for the day.
The first should be self explanatory to Mac Users. The second, bears a little explaining.

It is a screenshot of wikipedia's entry on Robert Gates (Rummy's replacement). I was listening to an interview with the guy who created wiki, and he said that incorrect information is usually on there for less than a minute. This means one of two things: 1. this picture was taken within seconds of the new posting. Or 2. the posting was purposely left as such for a while.

Still.. you gotta love the citizen media.

Check out the new "vandalism free" entry.

How I spent my Election Day

I spent the morning at this fine spot.


I spent the day with this these fine gents.


And then spent the evening with these fine folk.

How sweet it is.

This is the official Photograph of the midterm election 2006



Allow me to explain. Rick Santorum conceding, while one of his dozen children weeps. Beyond everything, his poindexter son decides to give this hellbound, godless, Osama-Loving , nation - the bird.



Allow me to say it loud and clear. Tester has declared victory. Webb has declared victory. Barring dirty tricks and whining from Allen and Burns the Democrats control BOTH HOUSES!

Our nation has finally put a seven-fingered buzz-cut farmer in the Senate. God bless these United States of America!