Thursday, October 11, 2007

Cold Turkey

As an Armenian, or rather, as someone who's residence in Glendale and copious body hair was often mistaken for Armenian, I am passingly familiar with the Armenian Genocide, and the desperate plight of the Armos at the hands of the pre Attaturk, Ottoman Turks during WW thee Firste.

As far as i am given to understand, the (Ottoman) Turks rounded up 2 million Armenians for "Deportation" and 1.5 of them conveniently died en route. Nasty nasty lot, those Ottomans. After The "Great" War, the allies spanked all the naughty axisss pretty damn well. Germany had to pay out the nose, the Kaiser abdicated, the Austro-Hungarian Empire ceased to exist and was partitioned into incredily troublesome little states (Serbia, Bosnia, Endor), and the Ottomans were also disbanded. To the great fortune of Europe and all the cutures thas collide at the bosporous, the man who took the reigns of a throttled Turkey was a great man named Kamil Attaturk. He developed Turkey into a prosperous, secular, democracy, fully understanding that a place so steeped in religion, can only be peacful without it.

Since then, Turkey has been our friend and ally. A part of NATO, and even a grudging helper in our bullshit invasion of Iraq, they grumpily allowed us to invade through the north by passing through their airspace. Turkey is cool by us, right? But today, they called back their ambassador and are throwing a world-class hissy fit, over the congressional vote to aknowledge the Armeian genocide of nearly a century ago.

Now, here's the thing. WTF? I mean, WTF? I thought that the Germans had established the rule for international fuckupery. You can fuck up really hard, but at the end you have to say "Sorry", and you have to mean it. That's it. Now deportation and Genocide are hugely different, I get that. But come ON! Let's call it like it is. Everyone except the biggest assholes in the world have accepted the genocide as , well.. a genocide. Check out this handy map of all the US states whos legislatures have accepted the Genocide.


As you can see, only the "DIck" states, have refused to accept the fact (With Hawaii just not giving a Dervish's Fart). But even some traditional "Dick"states have accepted the facts , which is huge when you consider their aversion to them (Facts, not Dick).

So, what's the big deal?

Let's say you're Ted the Turk, you don't admit to anything, you preserve whatever macho bullshit you need to preserve, and the whole world is slightly pissed at you, but hey we're all friends here, right?

If you're Armo Armakian, you're stil going to be pissed at the Turks and everyone knows they've got genocide issues, so there, take comfort in that.

What strikes me, is the pissy reaction from Turkey. Phrases like "Hardball" or "you'll be sorry" have been flung around diplomatic circles like in an Alabama High School commencement speech. Now, I expect that from our "Plaintalking, "Folksy, and "Reatrded" President. But Turkey? Really? It sounds like our little vote struck a cord with the Turks.

The overreaction is not dissimilar to the reaction i got from Larry Craig's "I'm Not Gay" speech.

Whoa! Whoa! Larry, no one is saying you're GAY. We're just saying you got caught soliciting cop cock in a public toilet.

A similar reaction to the Paultards with my previous post.

Hey Paultards, I didn't say the doctor was a facist, racist, asshole. I just said that his voting record tends to appeal to facist racist assholes.

So Turkey, fuckin' relax. If you're so sure there was no wrongdoing, why all the melodrama?

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