Monday, November 21, 2005
Being recently (Recently?) singled I am observing the age-old tradition of having/being a wingman in the dogfights of social wooing. I have observed, and it is the god's honest truth that a wingman has to be a very well chosen person.
To that extent I am hereby deleting the following groups from the potential wingperson list.
Family: My brother, his girlfriend, my parents, all sound like used car salesmen when they "assist". With our dark skin, it's like watching a morroccan market.
"Look! Look My friend! I have special deal for you! He is have good job."
Girls: No matter how "Just friends" you are, girls will ALWAYS sabotage your chances with another girl. For example, I had two parties to go to this weekend. One involved a ridiculous and obscene costume, the other was a nice, laid back, serene affair where there would be NO available women. So My friend and I dressed like goofballs for the second party and we show up to wild gawks of humor and nervous looks. Never imagining that someone Extremely available was going to show. So i proceed to make a severe ass of myself. My friend, FEMALE, who should be supportive of me ,fails to tell me that the person I'm talking to has been recently singled. I in turn make such an extreme jerggoff of myself, that the Anti-Alf / hellspawn Image I built for that night may be the only one my trollop of choice may remember for the rest of her days. A GUY WOULD NEVER OMMIT SUCH A CRUICIAL DETAIL.
The really strange friend: This is a tough one. "Strange" is all in the eye of the beholder. I for one, am many people's "Strange friend", and MY "Strange Friends" Have "Strange Friends" of their own. Simply put, you don't want the friend you play D&D with, on your side. You appreciate him, you hang out, but god forbid the object of your desire catch wind of your Comic-con gold passes without testing the waters first. You love your pal, and revel in the nerdery. However, there is no place for ten sided dice in a bar. If youre at a sports bar, you don't want a vampire by your side, and likewise at a goth club...whatever. Those girls are easy.