Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Holy Shit!

All LaMont family members have their quirks. My dad for example, can't understand that restaurants don't serve Diet Root Beer. It never fails, we'll go out to outback, or chili's or some such place, and my father will burden the waitstaff with his request. DIET ROOT BEER. Does that even exist? Waitstaff tell their friends in the back, who I'm sure tell their families that some man has ordered Diet Root Beer again despite having been in last week, and had been denied his ficticious drink then as well. My mother has the tendency to insist almost violently, that people loosen up. She's been known to hit employees over the head with blunt objects, when they seemed not at ease enough at the employee xmas party. Me, I can't tie my shoelaces, but my brother has two very interesting issues that starngely convereged in Manchester england yesterday.

My father and brother are both members of the SIT ON THE CRAPPER FOR TWO HOURS WHILE READING ALL THE PAPER club.
I was not invited. Though I enjoy regular movements and reading material, I refuse to devote any more time than is necessary to the act of pinching a loaf. My brother and my father however, seem to have made the john their domain of two hours. I'm not airing family laundry and pooping habits for no reason. See, i've also always been wildly entertained by my brother's irrational fears. My brother has phobias that cover everything from horses, to driving in Los Angeles, to well...snakes. So you can imagine my giggling joy when i came across the following article.

snake in a pooper

A 10ft boa constrictor has been captured after popping up in the loos of a posh block of flats in Manchester.
The snake had terrified tenants since it was first spotted in a toilet last week, reports the Mirror.
It's believed to have been living in sewage pipes for three months after being abandoned by an evicted tenant three months ago.
People had to put bricks on their loo seats to stop the snake, which has been named Keith, slipping into their bathrooms.
Firemen were called in to try to track him down in the pipework but a brave resident of the West Didsbury flats finally trapped him in a bucket.
Keith is now in the care of the RSPCA.
Spokesman Jimmy Ratcliff, an expert on exotic animals, said: "They can swim very well and can hold their breath for more than 20 minutes - though what is out of the ordinary is the size of this snake.
"It has probably been eating rats in the sewer, where it appears to have been living quite happily."

Oh man, just the mental image of my brother prepping for poo, and finding a Boa on his sacred throne, is enough to send me into fits of hilarity.

Just wanted to share.

1 comment:

Dinah said...

"the snake, which has been named Keith" is enough to send me into fits of hilarity.

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