Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Los Angeles Blackout of 2005

The city of Los Angeles descended into lawlessness earlier this week as a power outage swept through the poorest neighborhoods of Los Angeles, causing devastation. The effects of the Power Outage Jeff's wrath were felt all along the southland from Burbank to Huntington Beach. Ted disrupted TV watching throughout Los angeles and the American Red Cross is asking people to donate tapes of Cops, the View, and Maury. People were caught off guard as the suddeness and furor of Jeff took its toll on the elderly and infirmed, and jobless.

"I was going to only drink HALF my frappucino and then put it in the freezer."
Said longtime Larchmont resident
"Now i have to finish it. I'm not sure what's going to happen."

Frappucinos weren't the only ones affected. The beverly center became a trap for hundreds of shoppers as Air conditioning went out despite the building's generators kicking in. Reports are hazy but at least two waifs were treated for sweating.

The true horror of Blackout Jeff developed as dozens of refugees swarmed to the Staples Center where police describe utter chaos as bathroom attendants ran out of mints, and cell phone coverage became "Spotty".

Beverly Hills, we are glad to say remained unnafected by the outage. The city's homeless run power generators can keep the Rodeo area running for at least two weeks, provided they shoot anyone trying to enter city limits, which they may do anyway.

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