So Superman went Ballistic...

WARNING: EXTREMELY HIRALIOUS NERDERY

Don't Hassel the Hoff

The Hoff. The burger dropping, stretched out, weepy chanteur of today, is not too shockingly different from the cheeseball of Baywatch and Knight Rider. Yet in Europe the Hoff was and is a HUGE celebrity. His anthem "Looking for Freedom" became a huge hit as communist regimes toppled across Europe, and his impact was such that a captured Bosnian Sniper Rifle known as the HASSELHOFF MAUSER bore his likeness.
Now, far be it for me to judge our Euro Friends, god knows they gave us well, Western Civilization, something I am a notorious proponent of. However, despite all the wailing and gnashing of teeth I am somehow releived that the stewardship of western civilization and media has passed to the more saavy and less cheese encrusted hands of Hollywood. I hate to Imagine what would hapen if This went Global:




What can I say? I now know WHY Communism crumbled.



Do you think Kitt resents being used like that?

Ah Dear friends! On this particular fourth of July, when this fragile democracy of ours faces assaults from both ithe inside and outside, let us not forget that monummental day.



It was on that day when an egg hatched. An egg that would chirp uh... I'll let the founding fathers explain it. IN SONG!





Happy fourth of July Everyone!

Photo Phun

Oh I know I haven't been posting all too regularly. In lieu of anything worthwhile, but preemptive to my fourth of July musical and video tribute to our great nation, allow me to bestow some photographic fireworks.

My favorite pictures of the week

1. WHALE AND DOLPHIN HORSING AROUND



What's Dolphin for "Dude did you just see what I did?"?

“I was observing a strange interaction between a pair of bottlenose dolphins and a humpback whale, when it became apparent that the two species were collaborating in some way. The dolphin was lying on a humpback whale’s head while it was slowly swimming along. Looking through my camera lens the stunt appeared to be orchestrated by mutual “agreement.” The whale very slowly—and vertically—lifted the dolphin into the air. I expected the dolphin to wriggle atop the humpback’s head to get off, but it just laid still and arched, trying to stay on top of the whale’s snout. In this frame the dolphin was beginning its slippery return to the sea. Once back in the ocean, the dolphin swiftly swam away with the other dolphin, leaping joyfully as if they had just scored a coup!”


2. WHY MY BROTHER IS AN IDIOT



FYI my brother nearly got killed sea kayaking in strong currents last week.

3. WHY I HATE CATS



The audacity!

4. THE ONLY KNOWN PHOTOGRPAH DOCUMENTING THE IRISH POTATO FAMINE OF 1845



I know its a downer, but the photograph is astonishing in its candor. Most of the period photographs were looney portraits attempting to romanticize the subjects. Due to the long exposure, there was very little if any candid photography in those days. The fact that this family was captured in the throes of starvation and squalor is shocking, and poingniant.

OMG I TLY LV BLINGEE!

Yeah, that's right I've discovered a site that I can exploit. An so can you!







Make Your Own Glitter Graphics

Walking down Wilshire

Tobias Wacker (Great Name) just uploaded this awesome video of Wilshire Blvd. He took one picture every ten steps for sixteen miles. As someone who lives and works right by Wilshre, it was fun seeing all the landmarks.

I live one block north of 5:44

I work One Block South of 4:48

Pretty sweet, huh?

Ron Paul Is A worthless Judas-Goat

The most recent "Internet Phenom" is this gay-ass, Ron Paul Movement. Fat, pale, sweaty men from all corners of the internet are standing behind this incorruptible defender of the constitution who believes in Peace, Prosperity, and No gun control Laws. Ron Paul may be a very ethical man, who has voted dilligently to protect the constitution of the United States, and yes, he's got a very proud record, a good heart etc. etc. But let's not forget that Ron Paul continues to caucus with the same party that has brought the most devastating affronts to our consitution in history. In a year where there is an opportunity to send a message about change and the direction we are heading, those that have grown disenchanted with the Republicans, but daren't support a Black man or a Woman, are hiding behind Ron Paul as a way of avoiding the true question of this election.

Will you ally yourself with the same? The same corruption, the same incompetence, cronyism, the same batch of welathy ill-speaking backwards white males of the last century? Support of Ron Paul, is an offensive and amoral but simple chice for the weak willed. I Applaud Ron Paul for standing up to the majority of Republicans and speaking the truth. But those who seek to elevate his symbolic candidacy would do well to ally with their gut come November of 2008.

In the meantime, Vote Ron Ron Paul in all the Caucuses and Primaries, and Insure that he remains a voice of opposition, though he has cast his lot with the devil. And a Reminder from a conservatice website as to this man's Alleigances:

Ron Paul is pro-life. As a specialist in obstetrics/gynecology, he has delivered more than 4,000 babies. Dr. Paul is not just an opponent of partial-birth abortion; he is an opponent of abortion itself. He is also opposed to federal funding of embryonic stem cell research.

Ron Paul is a believer in family values. Unlike many Christian "leaders" and Republican politicians who have admitted to adulterous affairs and/or been married multiple times, Dr. Paul has been married to the same woman for fifty years. He and his wife have been blessed with five children and seventeen grandchildren.

Ron Paul is opposed to same-sex marriage. Although he doesn’t want to strip homosexuals of their civil rights, he has voted to prohibit federal funding for the joint adoption of a child between individuals who are not related by blood or marriage.

Ron Paul is a patriot. He served as a flight surgeon in the U.S. Air Force from 1963 to 1967. He opposes federal court jurisdiction over the question of whether the phrase "under God" should be included in the pledge of allegiance.

Ron Paul is opposed to unrestricted immigration. Because he believes that true citizenship requires cultural connections and an allegiance to the United States, he favors an end to birthright citizenship. And because he believes that it insults legal immigrants, he does not favor amnesty for illegal immigrants in any form. He opposes welfare state subsidies for illegal immigrants that alienate taxpayers and breed suspicion of immigrants. Dr. Paul also believes that all federal government business should be conducted in English.

Mr. Wizard (1917-2007)

Pioneering TV science educator Don Herbert, AKA Mr. Wizard, passed away this morning. He was almost 90 years old.









read more | digg story

Bush Gets his Watch Stolen!!!!

While hugging and grasping at the adulating crowds in Albania, our feeble minded President gets ripped off. Keep your eyes on the watch, and see if you can figure out who takes it.



Can you read Dutch? | digg story

Why Everyone is Wrong in the Paris Hilton Fiasco

I am bothered. There are many pressing global issues, and CNN broke from the news that the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs was being replaced to footage of reporters running after Paris Hilton's car. But beyond the obvious reasons of why we shouldn't really care about this lies the more troubling question of why people care so much. The picture above shows some very hateful feelings, towards who? For what?

Paris Hilton is the semi-retarded offspring of billionaires. She did not graduate high-school, she has chemical dependency issues, and has created a name for herself by flashing an unhealthy cooch and an itty bitty titty. She suffers from genital warts, has been televised for her ignorance and stupidity, this is a freak show we are talking about. In old days she'd be taught to knit and wave and be married off to someone who would never have to deal with her on a personal level. She'd sprout offspring and that would make her happy.

Now let's discuss the LA courts and LA county Jail.
LA county Jail is a mess. The overcrowding puts anywhere between 5 to 15 people to a cell. People are put in cots in the hallway. Now, with that sort of overcrowding and peoples definitive views on Paris, i think we can all agree that perhaps getting raped and killed might be too much of a punishment for driving with a suspended license. Now, the LA Sheriff (A sleazy man named Lee Baca) is in charge of carrying out the judge's orders. However, installed within the DOC are such programs as early release for first time nonviolent offenders, and home confinement which keeps people off the streets. Now, the judge that sentenced Paris has been sitting on that bench for a long time, and has been notoriously useless. His judicial history is one of someone with no desire for advancement, and who is well aware of overpopulation, continuously dealing out lopsided rulings favoring the defendants, using overpopulation as reasoning for not overburdening the system. This mope of our judicial system knows full well that very often the same crime is punished in very much the same way the sheriff tried to punish Paris. Home incarceration costs the taxpayer nothing, whereas a solitary cell like Paris would require, costs up to 11 times more than the average inmate.

Now, I understand this idiot thumbed her nose at the judicial system. However, she deserves equal treatment under the law, no matter how skanky. In my opinion, she is not getting it. She is being hunted down like the Elephant man, by the same people who payed to watch the freak show. It is the court's duty to dispense justice, not to make examples, prove points, or punish the unpopular.

So i will say, what I never thought i'd say:


And let's remove this skank from our lives.

The Sopranos and the Simpsons: Too much of a good thing

SPIOLER ALERT!

Last night, the known universe choked, as the clock wound down for the HBO series THE SOPRANOS.

The crew I was with shouted "bloody murder!" at the blackout scene where to everyone's dismay, no one died, and life went on as usual for the Soprano clan.

My brother and I discussed this anticlimax on the way home, and while he obsessed about the sexual aspects of the Sopranos (He was left particularly breathless by the FBI agent's hairy chest)I realized i rather enjoyed the end. Who needs things to end bloodily and with manic carnage? My friend Will described the Drama and the family aspects of the Sopranos as the "Meat and Potatoes". I sort of revelled in the game they played as the clock ran down, and when the end came I took a huge amount of satisfactions at the grunts and hollers from everyone around me, and then of course the inevitable backlash. People flooded the HBO website untill it crashed, people cancelled their subscriptions to HBO, angry message boards, etc. etc.

It seems this country is so obsessed with the immediate gratification of a tidy and violent ending, that they convulse at having to think about things. The "Outrage" over Paris Hilton is another example of how people would rather yell, than be forced to think. As the Simpsons movie looms in the horizon i wonder if the obviously weary creators aren't doomed to a similar backlash but with the beloved yellow family. Unfortunately for the Simpsons, the end will not come soon enough. The Sopranos should have ended before Chris and AJ became Film people. Would anyone have complained if the season where Adrianna gets offed were the last one? Instead the same public that demanded more and more of the same, becomes wildly enraged when the creators of the show, decided that the end should be the same as a regular episode.

Shanks and Shivs For Prison Princesses

My friend found this while she was surfing on Etsy. I damn near pooped myself.



Check it all out HERE

When Toys Jump the Shark

I'm especially fond of the Moose.

I love this town

When we think of LA and all it has to offer we rarely connote scenic beauty. Yet on a shockingly clear day, at a shockingly scenic angle, our fair, sprawling city was shockingly beautiful.



Yes, that is Silver Lake.

Picture, by Friend of a Friend Brandon Zagha

Unseen Transformers Trailer!!!

From 1986



We've come a long way, baby.

The Five Exclamation Points

"And all those exclamation points? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head." -Terry Prachett

Last night my brother and i attended the 29th anniversary to-do of Animal House. as lovely as it was seeing an aging Flounder and Stork (My brother said it was like meeting a line from a Robert Frost Poem). As lovely as the walk down memory lane was, the highlight of the evening came as my brother and I were boozily ambling down Hollywood boulevard. We came across the L. Ron Hubbard Life Exhibit. To begin with I must urge everyone to take a moment and visit. Like it or not, Scientology is here to stay, and a visit to a free museum dedicated to its founding is an important eye opener for everyone.



Our guide, a lovely blonde who was perky and doe eyed, Was Smart enough to tell we were both squiffy but interested. So she agreed to give us a quikie version of the tour. After some rather lofty claims of an accelerated intelligence and a breezing over of Sci-fi, we came to the e-meters where my younger brother abruptly broke the unspoken agreement we had by asking about E-Levels. "Boo-Hiss!" i exclaimed. Pointing out that we were here as guests and did not know enough to start prodding around. Our guide made an uncomfortable reference to South Park and US weekly, and we moved on. After a quick walk through the basic tenets of Scientology (Don't Murder, Be Competent, etc.) we were done, and rather pleased with the whole exxperience. Naturally we felt it all a crock, but it had been a Lovely tour. So my brioother and I began to discuss the phenomenon of the five exclamation points. You can be perfectly civil, enjoying someone's company, and the next moment they can say something so entirely insane, so ridiculous, that your perception of the person goes south, forever.

A motivational poster we can all relate to

I created this beauty after my friend told me he hated himself, I replied "All good people hate themselves."

Copywright Pending.

Sic Transit Eugen Weber

"No WUNdah the RRRomans ate PahStah in thee sisTAINE chapel." The queer cadences of the Hungarian Born, Paris Educated professor of European History are familiar to students everywhere. THE WESTERN TRADITION is the primer for all students of History and Eugen Weber is the voice, face, and incredibly sopoforic master of the PBS lecture series. For me, he filled in the gaps of the basic European history texts of my High School career.

He may not be too important to too many people, but he and his series help cement my love for History and in a wider sense my love of knowledge. His Death at the age of 84 last week would have gone by unnoticed by me had not my closest friend alerted me of his passing today. I was planning on being clever and making fun of Eugen for his accent and sideburns, but truth be told, since this may be one of the few random Eugen Eulogies on the web, I'll leave the prof alone, and allow him to do the lecturing.

Nippley man I met, he ate my motorboat!

The Death of Falwell and Liberal Guilt

When i found out that Jerry Falwell had died, I can't help but admit that I felt a tinge of joy. Being someone who actually does value life, not just Straight, Unborn, White, American Life, , i felt an immediate surge of guilt at my momentary glee. Surely this round, born-again turd, has redeeming values. His family will be sad, and that makes me sad. His followers will be dismayed, and I'm sure its a great loss to his school. But how else can we feel? As thinking, rational, individuals we MUST sigh a collective relief when such a voice of polarizing hatred is silenced. Had he been murdered, we could all exclaim in a unified manner "Horror!" or "Wrong!". What emotion best befits the passing of a man such as this? The same emotion that we all felt when we learned about Louis Farrakhan's Cancer, or The Demise of Ferdinand Marcos. Such men deserve the pity and sorrow of none but their followers, and an indifferent shrug from the rest of us.

Rev. Jerry Farewell

He died this week, at age 73. If any of you aren't sure why all the fuss, this is the guy who was screaming that the teletubbies are gay. It was his lawsuit against Larry Flynt (For a parody where he shags his mom in an outhouse) that insured for the rest
of us that public figures can be parodied and satirized. Other than his ultimately fraudulent lawsuit THIS is what he is known for:

Jerry Falwell's greatest hits:

# “AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals”

# "It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening."

# "If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."

# After the September 11 attacks Falwell said, “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen."

# “Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions”

# “[Homosexuals are] brute beasts...part of a vile and satanic system [that] will be utterly annihilated, and there will be a celebration in heaven."



Charming.

ObAMANIA2!

Some footage from the Obama Rally we attended a few months back. If any of you are on the fence about Barack, I urge you to listen to him speak.

Just a taste mind, you.

Bye Bye, Bo Bo.

Boris Yeltsin died today. Let's remember my favorite moments with BoBo, shall we?

Something out of Borat.



Bobo and Bubba have a laugh over an incorrect translation.



Bobo throws a lady into the Ocean.

My trip to Europe: In sights and sounds

Glory be to you-tube and its simple uploading.Through the Magic of my digital camera and YouTube I am able to bring you sights and sounds from my recent trip to Europe.

THE ROYAL MILE IN EDINBURGH SCOTLAND

After a day parading around Edinburgh Castle, and doing the tourist thing, I was very excited to see a piper in the old streets of Edinburgh. Unfortunaely the film option doesn't work like the camera option (Duh) and I turn the whole thing on its side.



ORGAN GRINDER I AMSTERDAM

So i'm on the streets of Amsterdam, and this organ grinder is rocking out, when a street sweeper walks by with a funny little cameo with his giant street vacuum.



NOTRE DAME DOUBLE-HEADER

"The bells! They Ring for me! This one is Isabella, she made me deaf, you know."


The Organist inside the cathedral rocks a tune in the way that only a Pipe Organist in a Gothic Cathedral can...creepily

My Generation

I promise to Blog with finality about my triip, and all the other insane stuff I've ebeen up to. However, at the moment the muse does not strike, and I am forced/please to present the Zimmers. Old music made new By Old people.

Easterdam and Paree Le Fou

Sorry about the scant blogging, but my torpidity has dealt a furious blow to my beloved Mac in the form of a gnarly, broke-ass screen. Mercifully my travel companion, the Indiana-born, self proclaimed "Picky Eater" , Mr. Kenneth Christie, is toting around his inferior, but nonetheless useful DELL. So I had a few realizations about Amsterdam.Primarily the Netherlands are referred to as such because they are nether..far..far from anything interesting. In lieu of actual culture or lively intellectual movements, the Dutch have opted for Drug Use and whoring, which of course,made it our first stop.

Easter in Dutch is called Paas. Yes, like the egg decorating kits. They are owned by a Dutch company. If you color Eggs with PAAS, you are supporting prostitution anddrug-use.


Oh, look! A quaint Dutch Brothel. Lovely weather for Easter Whoring, huh guys?


In case you had any questions about how sex obsessed Amsterdam is...


Then its off to Paris, with the madman who changed the Lulus menu to read "Freedom Fries". I was determined to show Kenny a good time in Paris. But first, some culture.


Notre Dame. No, there is no football here. No that's not a cheerleader.



No Kenny, you're not supposed to take a picture of.. Kenny ..Kenny?



As a matter of fact, I DO know what "Voulez vous coucher avec mois" means.

At the moment, we are in London, and tomorrow is the super speedy all access deeply emotional and thorough one-day London Tour, as given by anglophile extraoridnaire and owner of the 5 CD set of Simon Schama's "A History of Britain"- Me.

London Calling

Yesterday, Danielle and I hit London and went on a Champagne Flight of the London Eye, the giant ferris wheel with beautiful panoramic views of London. Afterwatrds we mingled with the locals.


Look, kids! Big Ben, Parliament.


The EYE! THE EYE!


Oi! Oi! Oi!

Scotland the Brave

Edinburgh has proven to be a city of revelations. Primarily I have been shocked to find out that Haggis is more prevalent than I ever imagined. The thing is, its not a sheep's bladderin gooey grossness like you'd imagine, but rather more like bad thanksgiving stuffing. At a Pub we stopped at for a drink, there were Nachos offered with Ground Beef, Chicken, Or Haggis. Haggis Nachos. Last night was Danielle's Birthday and we rocked the Haggis and the Angus Beef at a traditional Restaurant Named DUBH PRAIS , which I highly reccomend, and this fine morning we hit Edinburgh Castle.

The Castle from afar



The Gates of Edinburgh Castle With Statues of Robert The Bruce and Mel Gibson


Castle Interior


Amazingly enough there are a lot of Kilts being worn in the Scottish capital. I mean, you don't see many sombreros in mexico or lederhosen in Berlin, but here people will wear anything as long as its plaid.


Maybe its just a tourist thing...

Ah, the Derry Air

Well, in my political tour of Ireland, I've arrived at the most put upon city on earth. None other than Derry city. The site of the famed "Bloody Sunday" of U2 fame. Of course, there were Murals to be seen, and politics to discuss, so enjoy the photos because tomorrow you get a dose of Edinburgh, right up the kilt.


The Bogside, and the iconic "Free Derry Wall"

The parents of this girl asked the artists to paint a pupae in cocoon on the bottom right of the mural. With the condition that the butterfly be added only when Peace had been achieved in Derry.


Evidently Peace has arrived.

Well... Mostly

Bu its a far cry from the lunatic Violence this beautiful city has known in the past.

Dublin in pictures

Thanks to my Singaporian Friend, i managed to get this thing going JUST as I'm about to leave Dublin. I'll give you all a full recount when I'm on the train to Derry, but in the meantime here's a few photos.

The GPO I spoke about in the previous post.


A lamppost


Kilmainham Gaol...which was AWESOME. Really exciting stuff.