Unseen Transformers Trailer!!!

From 1986



We've come a long way, baby.

The Five Exclamation Points

"And all those exclamation points? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head." -Terry Prachett

Last night my brother and i attended the 29th anniversary to-do of Animal House. as lovely as it was seeing an aging Flounder and Stork (My brother said it was like meeting a line from a Robert Frost Poem). As lovely as the walk down memory lane was, the highlight of the evening came as my brother and I were boozily ambling down Hollywood boulevard. We came across the L. Ron Hubbard Life Exhibit. To begin with I must urge everyone to take a moment and visit. Like it or not, Scientology is here to stay, and a visit to a free museum dedicated to its founding is an important eye opener for everyone.



Our guide, a lovely blonde who was perky and doe eyed, Was Smart enough to tell we were both squiffy but interested. So she agreed to give us a quikie version of the tour. After some rather lofty claims of an accelerated intelligence and a breezing over of Sci-fi, we came to the e-meters where my younger brother abruptly broke the unspoken agreement we had by asking about E-Levels. "Boo-Hiss!" i exclaimed. Pointing out that we were here as guests and did not know enough to start prodding around. Our guide made an uncomfortable reference to South Park and US weekly, and we moved on. After a quick walk through the basic tenets of Scientology (Don't Murder, Be Competent, etc.) we were done, and rather pleased with the whole exxperience. Naturally we felt it all a crock, but it had been a Lovely tour. So my brioother and I began to discuss the phenomenon of the five exclamation points. You can be perfectly civil, enjoying someone's company, and the next moment they can say something so entirely insane, so ridiculous, that your perception of the person goes south, forever.

A motivational poster we can all relate to

I created this beauty after my friend told me he hated himself, I replied "All good people hate themselves."

Copywright Pending.

Sic Transit Eugen Weber

"No WUNdah the RRRomans ate PahStah in thee sisTAINE chapel." The queer cadences of the Hungarian Born, Paris Educated professor of European History are familiar to students everywhere. THE WESTERN TRADITION is the primer for all students of History and Eugen Weber is the voice, face, and incredibly sopoforic master of the PBS lecture series. For me, he filled in the gaps of the basic European history texts of my High School career.

He may not be too important to too many people, but he and his series help cement my love for History and in a wider sense my love of knowledge. His Death at the age of 84 last week would have gone by unnoticed by me had not my closest friend alerted me of his passing today. I was planning on being clever and making fun of Eugen for his accent and sideburns, but truth be told, since this may be one of the few random Eugen Eulogies on the web, I'll leave the prof alone, and allow him to do the lecturing.

Nippley man I met, he ate my motorboat!

The Death of Falwell and Liberal Guilt

When i found out that Jerry Falwell had died, I can't help but admit that I felt a tinge of joy. Being someone who actually does value life, not just Straight, Unborn, White, American Life, , i felt an immediate surge of guilt at my momentary glee. Surely this round, born-again turd, has redeeming values. His family will be sad, and that makes me sad. His followers will be dismayed, and I'm sure its a great loss to his school. But how else can we feel? As thinking, rational, individuals we MUST sigh a collective relief when such a voice of polarizing hatred is silenced. Had he been murdered, we could all exclaim in a unified manner "Horror!" or "Wrong!". What emotion best befits the passing of a man such as this? The same emotion that we all felt when we learned about Louis Farrakhan's Cancer, or The Demise of Ferdinand Marcos. Such men deserve the pity and sorrow of none but their followers, and an indifferent shrug from the rest of us.

Rev. Jerry Farewell

He died this week, at age 73. If any of you aren't sure why all the fuss, this is the guy who was screaming that the teletubbies are gay. It was his lawsuit against Larry Flynt (For a parody where he shags his mom in an outhouse) that insured for the rest
of us that public figures can be parodied and satirized. Other than his ultimately fraudulent lawsuit THIS is what he is known for:

Jerry Falwell's greatest hits:

# “AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals”

# "It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening."

# "If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."

# After the September 11 attacks Falwell said, “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen."

# “Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions”

# “[Homosexuals are] brute beasts...part of a vile and satanic system [that] will be utterly annihilated, and there will be a celebration in heaven."



Charming.