Happy Halloween!

Viva Zapata! Viva La Revolucion! Perdi mi Maquillaje!

And this picture for Mac, Mike, Daniel and every other Nerd out there who gets to be a Ninja tonight.



And finally if you have 25 minutes to spare, enjoy this Holiday Classic!

Gentlemen....

We can rebuild her. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic cow. Theresa will be that cow. Better than she was before. Better, stronger, faster.

The Bionic Bovine

VERY Popular Science

I can't recall a Popular science article that made me blow milk out my nose like this one. Make sure you watch the video at the bottom.

Watch it,

HERE

Blue Sky Studios Challenge

Blue Sky Animation Studios which brought you my previously posted "Scrat" cartoon, has a weekly challenge where animators do heir take on a theme. Here are some of my quick favorites from weeks past. I urge you to take a look

HERE

From the Animal Hybrid Challenge:


Dolphincrab

From the Dinosaur Challenge:



The Muppett Challenge:



The Monster Challenege:



The Halloween Challenge:

Alf's World of Words (Amo, Amas, Amat)

I have found myself retreating into the world of words and bookishness that at one point made me an insufferable snob. Don't worry. Age will stay the hand of snot, and instead i ask you to join with me as I take aa quick journey into la lingua amorosa mundi. Or rather the worldwide language of love. Give or take incorrect latin grammar. I have in the past written about my love affair with words. I used the example of the word "Redatt" which in the paupan language of New Guinea, means "One unlikely to take part in after dinner games". I've also gone on endlessly about the urgic dialects of laplanders, and marveled at the nuances of the !Kung languages of the kalahari. Alow me now, to stray from such torturously lame subjects and adress languages more common and expressions more accessible.

I'll assume that the four greek names (Agape, Eros, Philia, and Storge) are old news to us all, so I'll jump right into less cliche' amorous words:

In Arabic it all begins with "BASABASA" or to make sheep's eyes at someone. I daresay the arabic love for the mutton is well known and we can certainly note the amorous looks of a ewe, and the generally seductive undertones of 'Baa", moreso "BASABASA".

Naturally, the Italians, being classy and not at all over-sexed, have developed a similar word; "PUNTARE" or to stare intensely at the person you are sexually attracted to. Nevermind the discomfort this may caus the object of your lust. Evidently in Italy, this has worked for centuries. Then again, so did vomitoriums.

If your googly eyes, or intense stares go well, and the sheepishness or soul crushing intensity don't creep your potential mate right out of their skin, you may find yourself in the position of flirtation (An excellent english word,if I may say so).

The Japanese have a delightful phrase for flirting; "HIZA O MAJIERU" which means "Intimate chat" but is literally translated to "mingle each other's knees". Unfortunately most Japanese relationships don't move past the knee mingling, which explains the Japanese obsession with Anime' Knee Porn.

If you are a Dutchman, and indeed are not smoking pot, planting bulbs, clogging, putting your fingers in dykes or doing anything else that sounds dirty but isn't, you may look to engage in some "QUEESTING". A slightly more forward version of flirtation, that involves friendly chit-chat under the covers of one's own bed. This is either brilliant or totally retarded. I haven't made up my mind yet.

Love proper, I mean what we Americans understand as that comfy spot somewhere between Agape and Eros, is a somewhat complicated view on the whole matter, but simplistic when compared to the Boro people of Inida. Who have eighty words for different sorts of love, seventy nine of which are depressing. The only one I came across that was in sync with my romantic heart was "ONGUBSY"; to love deeply and from the heart.

Which brings me to the to the Indonesioan word "MENGGERUMUT"; To approach someone quietly in the night for sex. Which usually results in what the Portugese say "Eu tenho um headache".

You can imagine that the words for sex, and the varities therein are enormous and could easily warrant a blog of its own, but I found it amazing that the same people who have seceral words for group sex (The French) had a lovely description of what shakespeare described as "The little death" (Orgasm, you phillistines.) The French refer to it as "Voir les Anges" or "See the angels". Awwwww. how cute. Of course they say it while smoking a gauloise and making a spitting gesture, but i still think its cute.

As many words for love, and flirtaion as exist out there, I've found some rather tragic words for the end thereof. I don't care to explore these quite yet, but I do think the Japanese have a fantastic sensibilty for describing certain moments. A broken heart is "HARAWATA O TATSU" which is of the same family as "HARA KARE" , both mean disembowelment. But the land of the rising sun is ever optimisitc. My favorite term in this mini indulgence came from there as well.

It is a phrase used in the early stages of a relationship, when mutual attraction has been established, and everything has the promise of a new day.

"RAINEN NO KONO HI MO ISSHO NI WARATTEIYOH"
Or "This time next year, let's be laughing together."

A fine sentiment indeed.

Stay the course.

Bow wow wow, yippy yo, yippy..Alf

Last night ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod! I went to Snoop Dogg's 35th Birthday Party! And It was awesome, and everyone was there, and i danced dirty with girls from Snoop Dogg Videos, and He was dancng next us and rapping, and it was LIVE and I got a contact high, and there were Pimp Glasses coveredinbling and whistles coveredinbling and.. and. It was GREAT!


Damn it feels good to be a Gangsta.

Scrat makes the internet rounds.

Before everyone and their mom has seen it, I give you the hilarious new SCRAT short from BLUE SKY which will appear as bonus material on the DVD of ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN

Scrat - No time for nuts
Uploaded by Juraya

Get well soon Roger!

I almost cried like a little bitch when I saw THIS

The truth is for most of us who grew up in the 80's there were only two film critics in the universe- Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. Whene Gene died, I remeber not only being distraught, but being secretly releived that the one I agreed with the most was still kicking. Now that Roger has been Ill it made me worry. Though things are good with Ebert and Roper, there's a sad lack of baldness and sweaters. I thought the world was lame with no Siskel, but it will be a dangerous world without Ebert. How else will we detect bombs?

Jump!

In the relentless pursuit of the sublime and whimsical, i tought i should draw everyone's attention to a book I purchased this weekend.

The Jump Book by Philippe Halsman

Halsman was famous for capturing very famous people, like this dude on a bike:




He was famous for being able to relax his subjects, and have even the most uptight people do very silly things. But Halsman was best known for his technique of relaxation....."Jump!"

Phillipe beleived that people's muscles relaxed if they jumped a few times, so prior to many of his sessions he had very famous, very influential people, jumping. The end effect is silly and wonderful. To that end, I posted a few good images on here from what I could find around the web. My personal favorties are the Duke and Duchess of Windsor who look like they are jumping for the first time in years, and Richard Nixon, who seems to be quite familiar with shooting upward like a psychotic rocket.





The Book is available on Amazon, and it's well worth the Ten Bucks.

See more pictures at my Flickr Set of Philipe Hausman Photos

Apocalypse Wow!

With all the signs of the apocalypse ( North Korea, The Middle East, Me being in a healthy relationship) I thought a timeline of when Man's influence on earth would dissapear was a propos.

If you want to see it in detail, please click HERE

THE ANCIENT BOOK OF MYTH AND WAR

A few of the artists from PIXAR ar putting together a book that has me pooping my pants in excitement. It is called THE ANCIENT BOOK OF MYTH AND WAR and these are just a few of the pieces of art that will go in it.











Of course the damn thing won't be released till Feburary, so there's no chance I'll get it as a Christmas gift. But, man...

Alf's Rules for dating REDUX and in Audio!!

Here it is folks! Please subscribe to the podcast, as I'll be adding better and better stuff as it comes along



Gabcast! Take a Swig of Alf #1 - Alf's Rules for dating, and an intro to the PodCast

Fuzzy, Short, Rambling. Not a description of Alf, but rather of the blundering and inaudible first podcast.

Coming soon, to this blog....

A very special Facts of Life

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have ... A BONG

Aieeee!

Terror Alert!!!

WHAT?
DRIVING OFF THE ROAD?
WHY ISN'T HOMELAND SECURITY DOING ANYTHING ABUT THIS???

Hippo Service

indulge me, dear friends. There are moments of whimsy so equisite, that i am consumed entirely with hope for the world. This is one of them.

Art collector Richard Cohen got the most marvelous wild hair up his ass, one fine day while dining with an antique china dealer. They were discussing antique chna with hunting dogs and ducks on them, and Cohen expressed dissapointment at the fact that truly interesting animals were never represented on dining sets.

What followed is the most important comission of china in 100 years. My ability to relay the details of this endeavor will do it no justice. I'll cut and paste the Wall Street Journal Article (No link, since it's subscription only).

"He scrounged for antique etchings of hippos but eventually decided to go all out and hire photographer Sarah Galbraith to document the names and faces of nearly every hippo in captivity -- she ultimately traveled to 101 zoos in 33 countries, including Vietnam, South Africa, Australia and Sri Lanka.

Back home in Oyster Bay, N.Y., Mr. Cohen sifted through 3,000 images and sent his favorites to Royal Copenhagen, which hadn't received a commission of this scale in at least a century. He asked for the hippos to be painted on the company's renowned Flora Danica pattern -- also found in the collection of Denmark's Queen Margrethe II -- with enough teacups and dinner plates to serve a five-course meal for 18. The 231-year-old porcelain company has about 25 artisans who can paint the pattern for regular, five-person place settings (cost: about $6,000). But because of the scale of this commission, the company called in semi-retired master Juergen Nielsen to do the entire set. (Mr. Cohen says he doesn't plan to sell the collection, or eat off it.)"


The Photographer kept a blog JOINED AT THE HIPPO, where you can see some more of the exhibit and the photos of the subjects. Each piece has the names of the Hippos and their locale emblazoned on the bottom (Bubbles, San Diego Zoo, for example).

Some people, may claim $400,000 is a terrible amount to waste on a project as silly as this. Considering the amount of true waste in this nation, it is heartening for me to see money spent on an act of silliness. Artists and craftsmen in Sweden, professiona photographers, and some very very serious minded individuals have gotten behind on a an act of whimsy so grand, and a subject matter so silly, and declared it "Important Art". As i told someone very special to me, if there is room in this world for something as silly as a 400k hippo set of dishware, then there's a place on this earth for all god's silly creations, Including me. To quote an antiques dealer, "There are valid discussions about distribution of wealth, but this is not one of them.".





Click here to see what Hippo sex sounds like (For real!)

Disturbing, but well put.

Not sure what Indo-chinese hellhole this bit of news came from, but it's worth it just for the quote at the end.

The Stars at Night are Slightly less Bright...

There was a time before the country went nuts that Texas wasn't ground Zero for religious nutjobs and corporate corruption.
Ann Richards Was governor, and as soon as she left the governor's office, so did sanity.

She was supplanted by George W. Bush with the help of Carl Rove.

Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:
You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.



Ann Richards 1933-2006
Governor of Texas, Democrat, and Classy Classy Lady.