Royal Pizza

Pizza Express in the UK will deliver these to you for an added sum.
Not the coolest thing I've ever seen, still it beats the Dominos Cheeseburger Pizza

Post Secret

I Love this sight..it reminds of that sad little Mea Culpa Entry I did about 6 entries down.

Making room for the coolest Kids

Goddamit! Now I have to Blog three or four new things simply to get those little nerds to fit on my page!

Enjoy this beauty from W Bush

Tribute to the coolest Kids of the 80's and today

I've never been any good at video games, but surely ANYONE can appreciate their achievements.

And if you think kids back then were weird, and kids today are far more normal, then I urge you to check out the young lady pictured HERE at her quincenera (Or however you spell Fifteenth Birthday in Portugese). Those eyes! They BURN!

Cause Celebre'

No Offense to Trent, but the only thing worse than an actual celebrity, is THIS

How much must your life suck, if that's all you got going?
Whatever Happened to real culture?

Do you ever wish you could go Back in time?

Keeping With the Dynamite theme, here's a link for all of you who miss 82'

Hercules the Liger

Yeah, a real live Liger (Known for it's skills in magic)
This kitty is housed in an australian zoo and has some sort of glandular problem that will allow it to keep growing for it's entire life. Freakin' sweet.
Just in case you'd never seen a Liger.

Now What?

Ok, so what can i afford to do, now that I've been sacked?
Oh Wait! What's the date?
What DO they say about necessity?
It's the mother of jobless alcoholic drug addicts?

For all your Papal Needs

So the Apostolic seat remains empty at the moment, and you wonder,
"Where do I go for tasteful insight, regarding the Petran Post?"



Look no further than the tasteful and Catholic Approved Pope Blog

A Rough Start

My Freaky Morning has included conversations with these chipper individuals.



Not the sort of thing to spring on a mild Monday.
If this is how my day is getting started, I might be dead before noon.

Hater?

bunny
Originally uploaded by alflamont.

I went to a bar and two guys walk in wearing bunny costumes. I'm talking to this girl, and I told her I was unimpressed. She says, "Don't hate."

I explain to her that it's cheating to wear a bunny costume. You don't have to be interesting, you don't have to make conversation, it's all prefabricated.

Hey how you doing?
Oh my gawd you're dressed like a bunny!
So I am, wanna hear about it?

Whereas the rest of us have to actually BE interesting,these guys just went out and bought bunny costumes. It's not like they had them lying around, or were on their way to a Bunny Ball. THAT's interesting.This has the stink of premeditated attention getting.

By the time I finished my argument, I turned to see that she was talking to the bunny guy.

Evil bastards. IS wearing a bunny costume any different than honing your wit? Or Being an original thinker? They all serve the purpose of picking up chicks in bars. The only difference is that a Bunny costume is a lot more transparent, and takes less time to acquire. Have I been wasting my time?

No. Wit and originality are life-skills that can be used in the grocery store, or at restaurants. A Bunny costume has limited uses.


Do I qualify as a hater?

Mea Culpa

flagel
Originally uploaded by alflamont.

I did something naughty. Something I swore I would never do. I had a friend sleep over, and I put the moves on her. There's a past there, and I felt like it was perfectly reasonable, but I shouldn't have, and now she's pissed. I'm buying flowers tonight, but I feel like such an ass.

It was a minor thing, but it sort of turned it a big thing after the fact.

Stupid hormones.
Stupid me.


There's more . I missed a good friend's big play. To my credit I was @ work till 9 on that day. Still...I suck

Oh yeah one more thing.
I'm supposed to do dishes, and I'm too lazy.

Ok, let's just make this a purging, shall we?
I don't really like Radiohead, or Dave Matthews. Same Jam band, different obsesed lame-ass fans. Sorry.

Sex in the City, Friends, and Will and Grace, might as well be the same sucky show. I could care less. Sorry about that too

I kind of like reading about how trashy Britney Spears is. Have mercy.

I rented The Dreamers, only for the sex scenes. Filthy Filthy!

Monty Python often dissapoints me. I remember it being funnier. Mea Maxima Culpa.

I hate loud music. No, i'm not too old, i never have liked loud music.

I have connived against people in happy relationships, because I have a crush on the girl, and if I can't have her... no one will.

I pick my nose, ears and my teeth in a disgusting manner, and I don't care because it's so gratifying.

Abba has to be one of the best bands ever, and I stop myself from playing it at bars and jukeboxes because it's "Too Gay"

I like football games, I like the Broncos, I hate talking about football. I have memorized statistics simply to be able to hold my own, but don't seriously care.

If someone's pissed at me I usually ignore them untill they get over it. Employers, Parents, and Significant others included.

I'm being a total wuss about getting my tonsils out.

I act like I'm ok with my break-up, but I'm really psychotic and jealous.

I resent people who are motivated and honest.

Guys who sculpt their eyebrows piss me off.

I can't watch people make asses of themselves on TV it stresses me out.

I feel guilty about writing this, but excited someone might read it.

Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa

New name, new tude

That's right. No more of the human interest shit. I'm gonna rock this blog like a twenty year old hotel employee. Not one in particular, mind you. It's just an expression.

Peace Out, Pope

pope
Originally uploaded by alflamont.

Oh, i can hear your sneers now. Once more the populist, revolutionary, liberal, humanist Alf declares his catholic roots.

Let me give you a wee Papal timeline.

Alf Born in 1976
Karol Wolykstdhtysja Made pope John Paul II in 1978
Visits Mexico and Blesses a baby Alf during his visit

Alf Moves to US in 1980
Pope Shot in 1980
Young Alf not involved, but suspected anyway

Alf Graduates High School in 1995
Pope Visits Colorado in 1995
Alf stays awake all night, and misses half the papal mass. Buys a sweet foam Pope hat, and an awesome pope t-shirt. Also a Vatican Visor. Buys Pope on a rope for dad.

Alf Graduates college in 2000
Pope's health begins to decline
Not related to beer bongs we are told

Alf moves to LA in 2002
Popes health deteriorates to "Twitching stage"

Alf starts a new job, new life, new place.
Pope dying/dies

I've spent my entire life, my youth following this man as the head of my church. Regardless, of how our views differ regarding shagging, abortion, and virtually everything, the Holy Father has guided me through my youth. It's difficult to imagine, but as he enterts immortality, I enter adulthood.
yeah, yeah, creepy and sentimental I know.

Nontheless I'll say a wee prayer tonight.

Peace out JP2

What Do These People and Things Have In Common?

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman

Jimmy and Sarah
Originally uploaded by alflamont.

Rodney Bingenheimer

rodney
Originally uploaded by alflamont.

Billy Zane

Billy Zane
Originally uploaded by alflamont.

Within the Last 48 Hours

All these people and things have entered my life.

Just Another fucking day in Hollywood.

Schiavo-Mania

Schiavo
Originally uploaded by alflamont.

What the hell is this? I mean, what the hell is going on here? For the first time in recent memory,congress and president Bush moved quickly.
I mean midnight meetings, sudden sessions. Is it to save a wrongly accused man from the electric chair? Is it to save a family from poverty because they can't pay medical bills? Wait! Wait! I have it, it's to make SURE that when we attack another country, and kill thousands of its citizens, we know theres a good cause. No? Oil! That's got to be it. Nothing gets the congress and the president moving more quickly than oil (Which will hit 3$ a gallon this summer). No?
You're telling me that with the brutal injustices being carried out in this country, with the immminent demise and pillaging of Social Security, with a health care crisis that promises to endanger the majority of the population, and a terrifying disregard for our enviournment, this government is mobilizing for a vegetable?

The horrible horrible truth behind this disgusting grandstanding, is that hundreds of people are yearly taken off life support for far more dubious reasons than the wish of a dignified passing by a loved one.

But what makes this particular brain -dead person such a cause celebre'?

We all know! We can see it! Where's the outrage? Where's the shame?

This isn't about right to life, or right to die, or about This poor lump of a woman, or her miserable husband.It's about grandstanding for the dentally challenged, toe-headed myopic morons who seem to have the deciding votes in this country.

I promise you, if they suceed in pushing aside the judiciary on this, it's the beggining of the end.

John Kerry said "The high road might be the more difficult road to take, but it is the best one."

That may be true, but what can one do against such recklessness?

They switch the constitution, they rig elections, they toss aside the seperation of powers. With such an obviously complacent congress who will follow the orders of the executive without any question, it's the judiciary that retains the rule of law against these brutalizing apes.
Too late.
The soundbite, the easy amswer and blindness to suffering, have taken place of reason, justice, civility and government.