Happy Canada Day!

On this day in 1867 the British Provinces of Canada, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and Jeff decided to have an orgy and thusly gave birth to Ontario and Quebec. Unfortunately Jeff died during childbirth, and that's how Canada came to be.

Before that, the Canadians like to claim that they burned down Washington during the War of 1812. But we all know that it was only because Andy Jackson was busy kicking redcoat ass in Nawlins. Besides, if CANADIANS burned down the DC in 1812, then what about that whole Canada's birthday thing we celebrate today, huh? Smarty-pants poutine guzzlers!

So yeah.. err.

Happy Canada day, everyone!

Smile, ya bastards!

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Matthew Harding spent 14 months visiting 42 countries in order to produce "Where the Hell is Matt?" Now, Smile.

Mr Fry, Electroboy and Me

Before my career in Talent Management would lead me to exalted heights, there was a time where my days were filled with the uneasy state of unemployment. For anyone, this time can be confusing and stressful. For a depressive it can be absolutely devastating. It was during this frantic job hunt that I had a chance to meet Andy Behrman, who my friend Ben Weiss had identified as "Someone who you would definitely get along with" and who needed an assistant at the time. Hilariously enough, he was right. Andy and I met for breakfast at Nate and Al's one morning and hit it off like gangbusters. Kindred spirits of sorts, and assuredly not someone I should work with. To quote Jack Nicholson in AS GOOD AS IT GETS, "Sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here."

The clip below features Mr. Fry and Andy discussing Andy's treatment and his subsequent moment of "It's going to be ok.", something that those living with mental health issues feel may never come until they are adequately diagnosed and treated.

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008)

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R.I.P

Office Work

The Great Office War - Watch more free videos

Mars Yields a Surprise...

CARE TO GUESS WHAT THE MARS ROVER FOUND?

Stan Winston (April 7, 1946 – June 15, 2008)

I just can't really picture HIM not coming back to life as a gruesome Zombie.



Yet another sad sad loss.

Timothy John Russert, Jr. (May 7, 1950 – June 13, 2008)

I just saw the news that Tim "Lil Russ" Russert passed away.

As a big fan of Meet The Press, I am deeply saddened.






My personal distaste for Don Imus notwithstanding, here's a hilarious compilation of Tim's appearances on that show.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? II

Let's begin with Bill Vs. Bill.
If Poppa Bear hates one thing in this world, its an intelligent, well spoken, reputable journalist. So he sends his crony to try to ambush Bill Moyers, and the result is well.. to be expected




Next, Faux news delivers a twofer of retarded racially insensitive pieces of bile. Firstly with Michelle Malkin and some other wingnut floozy referring to Michelle Obama as "Barack's Baby Momma"



And then, the widely panned "terrorist fist jab". Oh, Fox. You so crazy!




And for good measure i thought i'd throw in the demise of crossfire as performed by John Stewart. This is an old clip, but an important one in the history of Custodieting the Custodes.

Gore Vidal’s Article of Impeachment

Gore Vidal’s Article of Impeachment

Posted on Jun 11, 2008

By Gore Vidal

On June 9, 2008, a counterrevolution began on the floor of the House of Representatives against the gas and oil crooks who had seized control of the federal government. This counterrevolution began in the exact place which had slumbered during the all-out assault on our liberties and the Constitution itself.

I wish to draw the attention of the blog world to Rep. Dennis Kucinich’s articles of impeachment presented to the House in order that two faithless public servants be removed from office for crimes against the American people. As I listened to Rep. Kucinich invoke the great engine of impeachment—he listed some 35 crimes by these two faithless officials—we heard, like great bells tolling, the voice of the Constitution itself speak out ringingly against those who had tried to destroy it.

Although this is the most important motion made in Congress in the 21st century, it was also the most significant plea for a restoration of the republic, which had been swept to one side by the mad antics of a president bent on great crime. And as I listened with awe to Kucinich, I realized that no newspaper in the U.S., no broadcast or cable network, would pay much notice to the fact that a highly respected member of Congress was asking for the president and vice president to be tried for crimes which were carefully listed by Kucinich in his articles requesting impeachment.

But then I have known for a long time that the media of the U.S. and too many of its elected officials give not a flying fuck for the welfare of this republic, and so I turned, as I often do, to the foreign press for a clear report of what has been going on in Congress. We all know how the self-described “war hero,” Mr. John McCain, likes to snigger at France, while the notion that he is a hero of any kind is what we should be sniggering at. It is Le Monde, a French newspaper, that told a story the next day hardly touched by The New York Times or The Washington Post or The Wall Street Journal or, in fact, any other major American media outlet.

As for TV? Well, there wasn’t much—you see, we dare not be divisive because it upsets our masters who know that this is a perfect country, and the fact that so many in it don’t like it means that they have been terribly spoiled by the greatest health service on Earth, the greatest justice system, the greatest number of occupied prisons—two and a half million Americans are prisoners—what a great tribute to our penal passions!

Naturally, I do not want to sound hard, but let me point out that even a banana Republican would be distressed to discover how much of our nation’s treasury has been siphoned off by our vice president in the interest of his Cosa Nostra company, Halliburton, the lawless gang of mercenaries set loose by his administration in the Middle East.

But there it was on the first page of Le Monde. The House of Representatives, which was intended to be the democratic chamber, at last was alert to its function, and the bravest of its members set in motion the articles of impeachment of the most dangerous president in our history. Rep Kucinich listed some 30-odd articles describing impeachable offenses committed by the president and vice president, neither of whom had ever been the clear choice of our sleeping polity for any office.

Some months ago, Kucinich had made the case against Dick Cheney. Now he had the principal malefactor in his view under the title “Articles of Impeachment for President George W. Bush”! “Resolved, that President George W. Bush be impeached for high crimes and misdemeanors, and that the following articles of impeachment be exhibited to the United States Senate.” The purpose of the resolve is that he be duly tried by the Senate, and if found guilty, be removed from office. At this point, Rep. Kucinich presented his 35 articles detailing various high crimes and misdemeanors for which removal from office was demanded by the framers of the Constitution.

Update: On Wednesday, the House voted by 251 to 166 to send Rep. Kucinich’s articles of impeachment to a committee which probably won’t get to the matter before Bush leaves office, a strategy that is “often used to kill legislation,” as the Associated Press noted later that day.

The most awesome fight i ever heard.

With the asshole Redwings getting their asshole hands on Governor General of Canada Lord Stanley of Preston's Cup, and my beloved Colorado Avalanche finding themselves in a bit of a slump, I find it difficult to even pretend to enjoy Hockey.


However, my nostalgia for the most Canadian of sports has been piqued by THIS AUDIO GEM from the good people at WMFU.

"On April 11 of 1975 during a hotly contested playoff game with the Minnesota Fighting Saints, the WHA record for penalty minutes was established during a bench-clearing brawl. A total of 217 penalty minutes were logged, and the team decided to mark the occasion by releasing a single of Neumeier and Bill Rasmussen calling the action.

Neumeier and Rasmussen are clearly loving every moment of the brawl on the ice. At one point, you'll hear Rasmussen climbing part way out of the booth to get a better view of the fighting going on beneath him. Neumeier cheers on the home team, even as he condemns the cheap shot by Bill Butters that triggered the melee."

You will pry my beer from my cold dead hands.

It's FIRE season!

Ah, summer.

BBQs, Pools, The Beach, The fires.

As we descend into the inevitable summertime brushfires that make our summer so hawt, let's remember the 2005 Simi Valley fire with this RAD time lapse.

"Shot with 3 cameras over a period of 28 hours during September 28-29th 2005. Firestorm shows a a unique look at the Simi Valley fire which consumed 25,000 acres. Look for Mars, Orion & the Moon rising in the distance..."


Firestorm from powrslave on Vimeo.

Thanks Powrslave

Monday Politick

Today i'd like to hit up a few of the feminists who are feeling the sting of Hillz's loss to Barry. In particular, I'd like to adress these people:

HERE

and these two



Shut your dumb mouth, you silly cow. You'd really vote for McCain? Let's take a look at all the wondrous Pro- Woman funnies that we can attribute to the old man.



No Reproductive Rights

No Equal Pay

Then of course, we could look to his private life for a model of how respectfully he treats women.

"John McCain married a swimsuit model in 1965, adopted her two children, had another child with her, and grew so bored with domestic life that he asked to fight in Vietnam. While in captivity, his wife became mildly crippled in a car accident, leading John McCain to cheat on her repeatedly when he returned, until finally he abandoned her — in a “mid-life crisis” that he had, yes, 28 years ago — for a young, gorgeous beer heiress whose father could make him a Congressman."

You know what? Just read about it HERE


Pissed about Hillary? Vote McCain!

Music to slit your wrists by

i've decided to start sharing my bizzare musical tastes with you all.

Since I am no longer suffering from depression i thought it would be nice to revisit what i call my "Black Dog Mix".

Winston Churchill, 1874-1965 was Prime Minister of Britain in 1940-45 and 1951-1955.
He referred frequently to his family and friends about his 'Black Dog' which was a euphemism for depression.
He suffered with depression for most of his life and at times struggled to hide the extent of his black moods from his political colleagues. Interestingly he used to lay bricks as a means of distracting himself when depressed and felt that this kept the 'Black Dog' at bay.

Say goodnight, Dick.

Dick Martin (January 30, 1922 – May 24, 2008)

Shown in this picture holding "The Fickle Finger of Fate", Dick Martin and his comedy partner Dan Rowan made a huge impact on my brother and I as we watched "Laugh In" reruns on Nick at Night. I won't eulogize with any sentimentality or long winded tributes. But do I feel a sense of loss?

You bet your sweet bippy, i do.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Who watches the watchmen?

It would seem like the fourth estate has been misbehaving a bit lately. Perhaps its the busy election season that has me more in tune with the news, but i've seen more examples of bad reporting and bad behavior lately than ever before. AAnd I'm not just talking about FOX News.

Yes, we have the pathetic BILL O'Raly, but when the awesomely misbehaved Chris Matthews is calling people out, you KNOW something's afoot. Is it the end of the screaming heads? Did John Stewart signal the death of not only Crossfire, but all hot aired punditry?

God, I hope so.

For your viewing enjoyment the greatest hits from the last two weeks.

Let's start with Bill-O


Ha ha. That Bill O' Reilly is such a sociopath. Let's watch his show EVERY night.

Next comes Tweety, who is the poster boy for "Pundits Behaving Badly" watch how he calls out right-wing nutso Kevin James.


Oh, Tweety. Life with you is such a roller-coaster.

Big Russ, gets in on the fun, when his bowels chime in. (Listen Closely)


Even though Russert’s fart sounds like a special effect , I am assured that this was in no way edited. I'm serious. He ripped one.

Lastly and most laudably, we have the great Sam Donaldson. Who manages to com across as a human despite his Vulcan features. Enjoy the fine cocktail of Sam, on the Rocks, with a hint of flirt.

HERE! WATCH IT HERE! THIS IS THE LINK!

Heh.. Burning man

Playa Nazis. I hate Playa Nazis.

R= BS Squared

One of the things that had always puzzled me about Einstein was his tenacious adherence to Judaism. It seemed such a paradox for someone who was so intimately familiar with the complexities of the Universe to adhere to the superstitions of religion. Very often, religious people would cite his practice of Judaism as a symbol of his faith and therefore his belief in GOD (Bum bum BUUUM),

Well as Richard Dawkins observed, most rational men of science defer not to the religion itself but to the tradition that binds them to it, out of an "Enormous respect" for the institutions.

Dr. Dawkins certainly knows the scientific mind, as a newly unearthed letter by Einstein in his latter years now gives us new light into the thoughts of a great mind.

"The word god is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weakness, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish," Einstein wrote.

Einstein said he started questioning religion at the age of 12.

"For me the Jewish religion like all others is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions," the letter said. "And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people.

"As far as my experience goes, they are no better than other human groups, although they are better protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything 'chosen' about them."

Call of Duty 4, Battlefield 2: The Beatz

Somewhat poetic in a gruesome sort of ultra violent way.








By Serpento

Math

I wonder if I'd be any good at math now.
During HS, no amount of prodding and theorizing would get me to give a flying fart about Algebra or any other maths. The more advanced, the more insanely retarded it all felt. Now however, i've made my peace with mathematics and thanks to recent advances in Pharmaceuticals I can sit still long enough to do some basic calculations.

I've been known to do some jokey sort of stuff

Haha! Aren't I a jokey party animal?

Being recently singled and an elderly though immature 31, I found myself thinking what my shelf life was considering that the average age for a first marriage is 26.

With that in mind, and with the general creepiness rule of (Your age /2 + 7= Youngest possible age to date without getting creepy), i came to realize your dating pool actually grows as you get older. Considering that at age 31 you can date 23-46 year olds until you hit middle age of course.

Now you consider this in Los Angeles, where the ratio of unmarried women and men is about even and you add to that the colorful and numerous gays that inhabit our city, with a smaller lesbian population since they evidently prefer to live in Montana or Pasadena, add the fact that I have job in the industry and furniture, and we're looking at some pretty decent numbers.

However, if we add the fact that I have a blog and i tend to crunch statistics on getting laid in the LA basin and the physique of a manatee i must allow for a realistic view that I have a 50% chance of dying a very lonely death.

As I have faced the music and crunched the numbers of potential loneliness on this planet, so too, must certain people who will remain nameless . The worst thing to do, is to simply ignore the numbers.

Just ask my high school GPA.

AAAAH! Seal Rape!

AAAH!
Everyone hide your penguins! We've got a Seal sexual Predator!

From the BBC:


An Antarctic fur seal has been observed trying to have sex with a king penguin.
The South African-based scientists who witnessed the incident say it is the most unusual case of mammal mating behaviour yet known.
The incident, which lasted for 45 minutes and was caught on camera, is reported in the Journal of Ethology.
The bizarre event took place on a beach on Marion Island, a sub-Antarctic island that is home to both fur seals and king penguins.

At first glimpse, we thought the seal was killing the penguin
Nico de Bruyn, University of Pretoria
Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal.
Equally, it might be been an aggressive, predatory act; or even a playful one that turned sexual.
"At first glimpse, we thought the seal was killing the penguin," says Nico de Bruyn, of the Mammal Research Institute at the University of Pretoria, South Africa.
Pinniped behaviour
The brazenness of the seal's behaviour left those who saw it in no doubt as to what was happening.
De Bruyn and a colleague were on Trypot beach at Marion Island to study elephant seals when they noticed a young, adult male Antarctic fur seal, in good condition, attempting to copulate with an adult king penguin of unknown sex.
The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it.
The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail.

The seal may have been frustrated in its attempts to find a partner
The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.
After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report.
Why a fur seal would indulge in such extreme sexual behaviour is unclear.
Sexual coercion among animals is extremely common: males of many species often harass, coerce or force females of their own kind to mate, while animals are also known occasionally to harass sexually a member of a closely related species.
Harassment is common among pinnipeds, the group of animals that includes seals, fur seals, and sea lions; and occasionally it happens between related species.
Male grey seals have been known to harass and mate with female harbour seals, for example, producing hybrids.
"Sexual harassment is often more commonplace in non-monogamous mating systems, and in species where males are physically much larger than the other sex and thus physically capable of coercion or harassment," says de Bruyn.
But this is thought to be the first recorded example of a mammal trying to have sex with a member of another class of vertebrate, such as a bird, fish, reptile, or amphibian.
'Too young'
Chinstrap penguins occasionally indulge in homosexual behaviour, and adelie penguins sometimes "prostitute" themselves to get stones for nest-building; while one in seven emperor penguins will change partners from one year to the next.
But generally, king penguins lead straightforward sex lives: males and females pair up for years on end.
Marion Island is the only place in the world where Antarctic fur seals are known to hunt king penguins on land, so the idea that the fur seal was trying to eat the object of its attention made sense.
"But then we realised that the seal's intentions were rather more amorous."
The researchers speculate that the male seal was too young to win access to female seals, and in a state of sexual excitement, looked elsewhere.
But the mating season was nearly over when the incident took place, leading the scientists to also wonder whether the seal's natural predatory aggression toward the bird became redirected into sexual arousal.
Equally, the incident may have arisen because the seal was "play-mating".
"It was most certainly a once-off and has never previously or since been recorded anywhere in the world to our knowledge," says de Bruyn.
The penguin did not appear to have been injured by the seal, the scientists report.

The penguin did look extremely embarrassed, and neither of them said much afterward.

Happy May Day !

Pearls before us.

About a year ago I was mesmerized by an article in the Washington Post that had Joshua Bell , who is one of the world's most accomplished violinists perform before an unaware crowd in the DC metro. Tickets to Joshua Bell's concerts have gone for over $300, and he plays on a priceless Stradivarius. He's over 6ft tall, a handsome man who dresses all in black. There is no reason on god's earth that a living soul should pass this man as he plays music, and not hesitate for a moment. He demands attention.

The outcome was predictable.



Today, I came across a similar experiment, this time in Belgium, and this time an Artist was employed. Belgian painter Luc Tuymans, the most important artist in a country with a grand artistic tradition, his work sells for millions of dollars in the most prestigious galleries in the world . Would people even notice great art in the streets of Antwerp?



Now those who don't know me better would expect some sort of Wildean rant. Some extremely clever run ons with festive words, vague references, maybe some sort of foreign tongue inserted at random to rim the edges of my vast knowledge.
Unfortunately, some of the best people I know are often blind to their surroundings. Not totally blind for god's sake, but certainly myopic. Fortunately for me i am afflicted with a wonderful mental illness that has, through all my life, forced me into noticing far far too much. The best way I can explain what goes on in my unmedicated mind, is like informative popup ads. You can't just click on the chinese restaurant on the corner without having the building age, the geographic location, the style of chinese, the interior, the wait-staff, menu and a Viagra ad all fly open. At worst, I'm impossible to talk to, at best I'm captive to my thoughts. Naturally, being thusly afflicted makes me hyper sensitive to my environment. Even on days where sanity demands a solid dose of medication, my mind cannot help but travel to a million related places.

I can claim, without hesitation, that neither the Tuymans nor Bell's performance would go unnoticed by my exhausting self. That being said, i anguish at the thought of people missing out on the spectacular city in which I live. The street art of Los Angeles challenges even the finest traditions of civic art in Europe. From the Watts Towers, to the Banksy lined streets of Hollywood, we have an unappreciated wealth of world class art living in this city.

Takashi Murakami was so taken aback by the graffiti art that had been added to one of the Billboards tagged by local legends AUGER/REVOK, (Below) that he flew it back to Japan for his private collection.

The fact is that California in general and Los Angeles in particular was built with the swift export of ideas and communication in mind. From the missions that line our coast to the freeways, it is no coincidence that the world's entertainment flows from here. It would be a shame that blinded by our own snobbish pretense and dismay at SOME of the more pedestrian Angeleno exports, we missed the beauty this town offers. I urge you to take a moment and watch the film below. It is by Prof. Reyner Benham, who is/was a professor of Architecture at King's College in London. You'll find a new appreciation of this town, which is truly a monument of humanity. A city that runs on the ideas and dreams of poets, warriors and thieves, and those ideas can be exported at the speed of light, is something amazing. You can avoid feeling like the people of DC and Antwerp who don't know beauty when its right in front of them, simply by looking up. Don't miss it.




***Reyner Banham (1922-1988) was a prolific architectural critic and writer best known for his 1960 theoretical treatise "Theory and Design in the First Machine Age", and his 1971 book "Los Angeles: The Architecture of Four Ecologies" in which he categorized the Angelean experience into four ecological models (Surfurbia, Foothills, The Plains of Id, and Autopia) and explored the distinct architectural cultures of each ecology.

Pennsylvania Primaries!

Monday Politick

JOHN STUART MILL: Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.


Yes, yes, berate me for Quoting Mill and Bentham. However, I'd like to twist the words of the great men by pointing out a recurring theme- Republicans are not necessarily violent, bigoted, hateful, morons, but most violent, bigoted, hateful morons are Republicans.

Such was the case with Grand Dragon Dr. Congressman Paultard (Ron Paul) and his imbecile supporters who could not see past his libertarian veneer and into the deeply disturbing and ominously present shadow of neo-Nazi and white power support that he has never repudiated. If a GOP presidential candidate has traces of KKK tendencies, then surely in some backwoods there must be some GOP congressman or candidate who is completely off his rocker and goose-stepping around town in white robes and carrying a cross.

Everyone, meet Tony Zirkle.

Tony is running for Indiana's 2nd congressional district.

Tony offered to speak at ANY event he was invited to, so when he was invited by the National Socialist Party of Chicago (Illinois Nazis) to speak yesterday on the occasion of Hitler's 119th birthday he of COURSE said "Yes, please."

Giving the Indiana state GOP this gem of a photo to explain.


Now, critics may say that we have Farrakahns, and Communists, Atheists, and Pinkos. And hardly any room to complain about their nut jobs. To that I say, yes, we do.

If you are tying the rage of an oppressed people to my party, then I say we are the mouthpiece for that rage and we will channel it.

If you are tying me to Communism which is the goal of an equal distribution wealth amongst all classes to my party, or to social responsibility for our fellow man, then i say it is a noble goal.

If you attach me to the nobility of science and reason over the unscrupulous tactics and fear-mongering of misguided mythologies who prey on our baseness rather than our more noble attributes, then i welcome your accusations.

If you point at my brothers and sisters accusingly and claim their right to happiness as immoral, I will embrace them and scorn you for inflicting your anger and judgement on the undeserving .

You may call it spin, but you cannot hide Racism, Bigotry and Hatred under any veneer of nobility. Which is why Harry Truman, a Democrat spoke the truth when he said "We're right, they're wrong, and we're gonna prove it."

Now, in honor of the Republican congressional candidate's sickening display, I present the following farce to further mock the depths to which that party has sunk.



Now for something less Fascist.
Our awesome Dems appeared on our awesome Colbert show and they were Awesome.
It really makes you miss Edwards, though.



Oh and in case you'd forgotten, John McCain is still a deranged mean old man who will eat every Mexican baby born within our borders. So sayeth the POST.

Oliver Martin Johnston, Jr. (October 31, 1912 – April 14, 2008)

Ollie was a sweet man, who was the epitome of the professional animator. A consummate professional with the eyes and heart of a child.

I feel a sincere loss at the passing of such a pivotal person in one of the truly American art Forms.


He was one of Disney's Nine Old Men, and the last living member. His work was recognized with the National Medal of Arts in 2005.

He was a directing animator at Walt Disney Studios from 1935 to 1978. He contributed to many films including Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Fantasia, Bambi and Pinocchio. His last full work for Disney came with The Rescuers, in which he was caricatured as one of the film's characters, the cat Rufus.

Antiques Roadshow

Appraiser: Hmmm, you can tell by the veneer that what we have here is a late seventies midwest chick. Now these are fairly common, but where did you find this one?

Dude: I found it in Los Angeles

Appraiser: I was going to SAY California! You see these markings on her fingers, this means she's a writer. Which increases the value tremendously.

Dude:Oh, wow!

Appraiser: So how much do you think she's worth?

Dude: I dunno. Like A movie and Sushi?

Appraiser: I would appraise this at at least a trip to Hawaii, if not maybe to Europe too.

Dude: Oh WOW!

Appraiser: Yeah, don't let this one go for anything less than a model or someone really really hot and brilliant.

Dude: Thanks!

Appraiser: No, thank YOU.

HAWAII-EUROPE


Appraiser: So, can you tell me what we have here?

Chick: This guy was given to me by my friend who was dating one of his friends. And his friend was a writer and he's a manager. I never really had him appraised, but he's sort of fun to have around the house.

Appraiser: Ok, well what you have here is a 76' dude,. Now, you see a lot of these around, but what makes this one interesting is that he originated in Mexico. Now if you lift the glasses and ignore the circumcision you can tell he's definitely a Mexico model but then the issues are all classic US mountain States. See how he likes beer and farts?

Chick: Oh wow! I was wondering about that because yeah, he speaks really elegantly, but then makes fart sounds in the car.

Appraiser: Yeah, that's pretty standard to all males. What makes this one interesting are two things, can you tell me what they may be?

Chick: Well he's really immature.

Appraiser: Yes, and that's usually an issue, but check this out.. in his pocket there's a business card. He's got a job, which means that it's not a loss, and you were telling me you found him in LA?

Chick: Yeah, friend of a friend.

Appraiser: Ok, see well now that means he's in a creative field and could very easily make it big. I wouldn't move in just yet, but he's bound to gain value. The market for these has been in high demand, oddly enough.

Chick: I know! I've had friends asking me where I got him!

Appraiser: Yeah, keep him around for a little while and see where the market takes him. But for now i wouldn't go further than a road trip. Maybe at auction, you could get some jewelry and commitment.

Chick: Wow. Ok, I intoduced him to my parents. But that's good to know.

ROAD TRIP- COMMITMENT

Appraiser: Ok, can you tell us what you have here?

Dude: Well, I was at a garage sale, and I liked the look of this one so i picked her up, she looked a little down but i took her home and she cleaned up real nice, and here we are.

Appraiser: Well, i have to tell you we spotted you from across the room, and what you have here is a 70's Santa Barbara hottie in mint condition.

Dude: Really?

Appraiser: Yes. now i don't know if you're familiar with the 805, but in the late nineties many of these self destructed.

Dude: Yeah, I had heard something about that.

Appraiser: I have to say, I went over to my colleagues at the table and none of us has ever seen one of these in such good condition. Where did you find her?

Dude: At a garage sale in Los Angeles.

Appraiser: Well, there's some deeply rooted issues that came standard with this model, but the fact that she's been sitting in someone's cupboard makes this a pretty exceptional find. How much do you think she's worth?

Dude: Well, i was going to take her to the Geisha House, maybe jean shopping.

Appraiser: This one's a keeper.

Dude: A keeper?

Appraiser: Yes, we all agreed you need to hold on to this. What you have is a national treasure.

Dude: Wow! ..I need to sit down.


KEEPER

New blog feature: Monday Politick

HILLZ DRINX

There's always so much fun stuff going on in the world of Politick, and I hesitate devoting too much space on the Blog to it, since this is a blog primarily about the awesome universe I inhabit, and not so much a political blog. So in order to get my Politics off my chest early on, I give you:

MONDAY POLITICK: In which SNL doesn't suck, Barry gets Squiffy, and Michelle makes me happy

Let's begin with General Pet Pet's Testimony last week.

SEN. WARNER: . . . Are you able to say at this time, if we continue what you have laid before the Congress here as a strategy, do you feel that that is making America safer?

GEN. PETRAEUS: Sir, I believe that this is indeed the best course of action to achieve our objectives in Iraq.

SEN. WARNER: Does that make America safer?

GEN. PETRAEUS: Sir, I don’t know actually.

Ta daaaa! Thanks folks, its been great! I'll be here all week! Try the Veal!

SNL pretty much summarizes the whole thing. SNL being smart and edgy? Uh oh. Lorne Michael's wont stand for this too much longer. In the meantime, get it while its hot.


Next we move on to Barry's Favorite things. A little B-Ball and a little brew. It seems that at a bar watching the final 4, Barry got a few too many and got somewhat chatty. Watch the sendoff though,

Drunk Dude:"We need you to bring change"

Drunk Barry: "With your help"

Crappy Coffee

Gourmands and connoisseurs of incredible edibles will be happy to hear that Peter Jones, the well established London department store is presently selling cat-dung coffee at almost $100 a pop.

Kopi Luwak, or "Luwak Coffee" is coffee made from coffee beans that have been eaten by a Luwak. Regular coffee cherries are hand picked and the flesh of the berry is removed by mechanical means. When a coffee cherry is eaten by a Luwak the flesh is removed through digestion in the stomach of the Luwak, and the beans are collected after they have passed out of the Luwak.

What precisely is a Luwak?

Its a mixture between a cat and a mongoose, that lives in Sumatra and thereabouts. SARS anyone?

Check it out HERE if you're lookin for a hot, steaming cup of Poop/Joe.

The greatest yearbook photo there ever was.

Guest Commentary: Marcos Moulitsas (Kos) on A Silver Lining in the Blue Battle

Hillary Clinton has proved during the past few months that she is a fighter, that she is tenacious, and that she is in the race to win. There's just one problem. She's already lost.

No matter how you define victory, Barack Obama holds an insurmountable lead in the race to earn the Democratic nomination. He leads in the one metric that matters most: the pledged delegates chosen directly by Democratic voters. But he also leads in the popular vote,

the number of states won and money raised. Still, Obama's advantages aren't large enough to allow him an outright victory. He needs the 20 percent of party delegates who aren't bound to a candidate. It's with these superdelegates that Clinton has staked her ephemeral chances.

Clinton's near-lone chance of victory rests with a coup by superdelegate, persuading enough of them to overcome the primary voters' preference. Yet a coup by elite Democrats would be ill-received, to put it mildly. Obama's base spans the party's most loyal and engaged constituencies: African-Americans, professionals who generate hundreds of millions in small-dollar donations and a conventional-wisdom-defying outpouring of youth support.

If Obama lost at the polling booth, these supporters would accept the voters' verdict and carry on. Many, including those who backed Howard Dean's heartbreaking 2004 campaign, have been through such disappointment before. But if Beltway bigwigs steal a hard-won victory, it would amount to a declaration of civil war. Not only would the resolve of thousands of loyal foot soldiers and the party's new fund-raising base be irrevocably shaken, but it would torpedo the opportunity to build and strengthen a new generation of Democrats.

Clinton's best-case scenario for victory requires sundering her own party. It is an inherently divisive strategy, but she doesn't appear to care. For Clinton, all's fair in pursuit of victory—even destroying her party from within. Her campaign has adopted a bizarre "insult-40-states strategy," which has belittled states small, liberal and Red. Apparently, the only states that matter are the ones she coincidentally happens to win.

The Clinton campaign once justified efforts to foster a superdelegate insurrection by suggesting that she could regain the popular-vote lead in the remaining contests. But as her chances of pulling off that feat dwindle, even that argument is falling by the wayside. In an interview with TPM Election Central, top campaign adviser Harold Ickes said: "I think being ahead in the popular vote is an important factor. I don't think it's dispositive." But when the popular vote, delegates earned and states won aren't dispositive, no rationale remains for her destructive coup attempt. Clinton, unfortunately, is pretending not to notice. So at the moment, it's useless to demand she exit the race. If logic, math, appeals to party unity and the evaporation of undecided superdelegates won't sway her, nothing will.

Yet while the Beltway establishment frets about the alleged damage this drawn-out contest is doing to the Democratic Party, in reality, it's been an almost unalloyed good.

For one, the frenzied organizing around the country has proved a catalyst for dramatic party building in states that had been Democratically dormant. State after state has reported record turnout, and thousands of new Democrats are registering in advance of each contest. In upcoming Pennsylvania, Democrats have gained a net 200,000 registered voters over Republicans this year; that number is 105,000 in North Carolina.

The party can now take advantage of the infrastructure both campaigns leave behind. The unprecedented level of participation and organization not only reinforces Blue states, it improves Democratic odds in traditional swing states. In fact, the tide threatens to make GOP stalwarts like Texas up for grabs this fall.

The reverberations are being felt far beyond the race for the White House. Democrats are poised to make massive gains at the congressional and local levels for a second consecutive election cycle. They've already started: in a March 8 House special election, Obama volunteers helped Democrats capture the solidly conservative Illinois congressional seat formerly held by Republican Speaker Dennis Hastert.

Finally, there's no denying that the extra pressure has made Obama a better candidate. After living a charmed political life, with nary a serious general-election battle against a Republican on his résumé, he needed to prove his mettle in hand-to-hand political combat. His able handling of the Rev. Jeremiah Wright revelations didn't just prove his deft political skills to worried supporters like me and superdelegates. It allowed him to address a potentially explosive issue well before November (though it's a relationship the GOP is sure to exploit).

No one can persuade Clinton to get out of the primary race. But by any metric imaginable, Obama has already won. The superdelegates aren't self-destructive enough to change that, and the sooner they line up behind Obama, the sooner Democrats can focus their fire on the real target: John McCain. Clinton can stick around, but the rest of the party will move on without her.

Moulitsas, a NEWSWEEK contributor, is the publisher of Dailykos.com, a progressive Web site

Charlton Heston (October 4, 1923 (or 1924) – April 5, 2008

Ronald Reagan, Jerry Falwell, Bill Buckley, Chaz Heston, you'd think it's the death of conservatism."

40 years ago...

You all know that I am pro-Obama. For those nay-sayers who would say words are "just words", and that a message alone cannot change things, i ask that in remembrance of Dr. king you take a moment to hear the eloquence of another "dreamer" who brought hope and inspired many with his words.

Forty years ago , Robert Kennedy informed a crowd gathered in the center of Indianapolis that Martin Luther King Jr. had been shot. The improvised but powerful speech that followed is widely credited for keeping the peace in that community. Indianapolis was one of the few big cities in America that did not erupt into violence that night.