Sunday: Parte the Seconde (Ye Mall of Chapel Hills)

I hate malls. When I go out I like a certain amount of civility and control over the type of people I'm going to be interacting with. In LA, for example, I only come in contact with Persian teenagers at the Beverly Center or Grove, suffice to say that specific demographic is not in my social circle. That's in LA, where they have Mac stores, and reasons to go to the mall. Chapel Hills mall holds nothing but people I'd never interact with and stores I'd never shop at. Naturally, I took pictures.


What's so interesting about this young lad checking out the wares at the board game store? Well, considering the fact that the wind chill is making it feel like its 5 below outside, I figured i should share. Obviously he has no friends or family because he is carrying no coat and has not been told that once he steps outside he is going to DIE.


Here is a store i would never shop at in the mall where i could go and not buy..

If Jesus were holding a picture of her , holding a picture of Jesus, this painting could show us a shitty eternity. Instead, its just shitty.

In the middle of the mall is this beautifully adorned simulator. For $10 you can climb aboard this machine and feel what it is like to get ripped off. Love the Rape Van Orca motif, though.

If you don't get it, then you don't deserve to enjoy it.

The baby in the stroller couldn't believe that grown people could look like such dipshits. Those antlers stopped being appropriate always.

Get a head start on having your kids resent you.

Sunday: A day in Three Acts (Act One: breakfast)

So this morning my Mom made us a Mexican breakfast. Traditionally this involves adding egg to whatever it is you'd regularly eat at a Mexican restaurant. Eggs taco, egg tostada, egg sopapilla, egg cinnamon twists etc. "But, Alf! Aren't you an Arab?"
No no, i just have a hairy back. But your confusion about my ethnicity is not without merit. Check out this particular shelf of festivity in our house.



That's a Mexican Nativity scene, a dreidel, a Menorah, and five bears. To answer your question though, I am an Atheist.


As the mexican food was being prepped, we listened to Mariachi music and donned a sombrero..really. We do those kinds of things.

My mom greased, cheesed and chilied some fantastic huevos, while we all sampled.


Then some Mexican hot chocolate and we were all energized for phse two...THE MALL...
TBC

Hidden Beauty at Sam's club

So after a lengthy trip, we finally made it to CO. Naturally my mom needed to feed us an enormous amount, and where did she take us? To my progressive shock, she took us to buy in bulk from union basher Sam Walton's mega deluxe superstore. All Angelino pretense aside, I found it oddly exhilarating. There is something amazing to see so much of everything. Check it out.


Cheez balls are awful. But great! But truly awful. But then they come in a "Barrel" and become great all over again.



Ferrero Rocher was always my favorite Euro-Trash confection. Then it came to the USA and I was happy, then i saw a WALL of FR at Sam's Club and it blew my mind.


OMG! OMG! OMG! That's what she said!

So I bought a hot dog and a Cherry Coke for $1.50 which was awesome because the hot dog and the Coke were enormous. The Lady who sold it to me was this super sweet elderly lady who should be serving cocoa somewhere with better lighting rather than dishing out weiners to people like me. The hairnet made her look sad, but the dawg was huge and they have an awesome chopped onion dispenser that chops fresh onions for you when you turn the handle.


Nice Lady, bad lighting.


Turn clockwise, get onions.


GIANT Hotdog and Coke.


The whole giant warehouse was being cleaned constantly by teenage girls driving concrete zambonis. This girl waited for me to get out of the way while i was taking my hotdog picture. I smiled, she looked confused and continued to drive her cleaning machine.


The Holidays, in bulk.

Muppets, Christmas and an Observation

Is it me, or are Vice President-elect Joe biden and Sam "The American" Eagle very similar in looks?

Enjoy the Show, Folks!

Bettie Page (April 22, 1923 – December 11, 2008)

"I think that she was a remarkable lady, an iconic figure in pop culture who influenced sexuality, taste in fashion, someone who had a tremendous impact on our society," -Hef

Her later life was marked by depression, violent mood swings and several years in a state mental institution. While she faded into obscurity in the 1960s after converting to Christianity and serving as a Baptist missionary in Angola[5], she experienced a resurgence of popularity in the 1980s and had a significant cult following. Her look, including her jet black hair and trademark bangs, has been iconic within the rockabilly subculture and has influenced many artists.

Goths in Love

William S. Burroughs, Stuffing, and Thanks

Nothing brings out the spirit of this great nation than an aging Heroin addict, and his words of truth.

There is hope yet.





Hope for some Awesome stuffing!

1 cup melted butter
1 1/2 cups chopped onions
1 1/2 cups chopped celery
6 cups diced, tart apples (green/old granny)
2 teaspoons of salt
1 cup sugar
6 cups of small bread crumbs (herb seasoned)

In large pan combine butter, apples, celery and onions. Sprinkle with salt and sugar. Cook for 10 minutes until apples are browned all over. Add bread cubes.
Yields 12 cups.

De mi propia cosecha

si haces el doble, no dobles la sal, a lo mejor la mitad pero primero pruebalo. Toma mas de 10 minutos a que agarren color las manzana, al menos en Colorado. Una vez que este todo revuelto incluyendo pan, le pones ya sabes que. Vino blanco, siempre cocina con vino barato. Abusado con el vino si le pones mucho te queda muy aguado.

Si tu vas a rellenar el pavo, antes de poner el relleno untas adentro del pavo mantequilla con seasoned salt y sage y tambien afuera. Abusado con la sal.

In addendum, I have found a few details on cooking this myself. Do not overdo the wine, and if you douse the stuffing, make sure and add sugar. The most common problem is the sugar falling to the bottom and burning at the base of the pot. Aslo, avoid stuffing the turkey directly, it increases salmonella potentials. You can add the stuffing inside once the turkey is cooked and allow it to sop up juices for another 10 minutes of cooking inside the foil.

The financial crisis: It affects us all

I had a conversation with my parents recently that went something like this.

Badonk a Monk

From the AP

"Dressed in the vestments of the Greek Orthodox and Armenian denominations, rival monks threw punches and anything they could lay their hands on.

The Greeks blamed the Armenians for not recognizing their rights inside the holy site, while the Armenians said the Greeks had violated one of their traditional ceremonies.

Israeli policemen scuffle with an Armenian altar boy during a fight at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre on 9 November2008

An Armenian clergyman said the Greek clergy had tried to place one of their monks inside the Edicule, an ancient structure which is said to encase the tomb of Jesus.

"What is happening here is a violation of status quo. The Greeks have tried so many times to put their monk inside the tomb but they don't have the right to when the Armenians are celebrating the feast," he said. "





Check out the shit starter Armenian Monk in the red.


The place is shared by a lot more than just the two current brawling factions. There are custodians there from Eastern Orthodox, Armenian Apostolic, Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox ,Coptic Orthodox, Ethiopian Orthodox, and Syriac Orthodox Churches. The protestant churches were just never invited having been considered heretic sects when the "Status Quo" was implemented in 1555 or so. This setup is so effed up that a ladder placed on a ledge over the entrance sometime in the 19th century has remained there ever since because of a dispute over who has the authority to take it down.

What's crazy is how aggressively everyone defends their "Rights" to this shrine.

"On a hot summer day in 2002, the Coptic monk who is stationed on the roof to express Coptic claims to the Ethiopian territory there moved his chair from its agreed spot into the shade. This was interpreted as a hostile move by the Ethiopians, and eleven were hospitalized after the resulting fracas. "

I don't want to get on any sort of Atheist's rant but, Jesus H. Christ!

This is it

Republican Endorsements of Barry

When Colin Powell endorsed Obama a week ago, McCain said "I’m also very pleased to have the endorsement of four former secretaries of state, Secretaries (Henry) Kissinger, (James) Baker, (Larry) Eagleburger and (Alexander) Haig." A whos who of war criminals, wingnuts and other Republican goons who have held the title.



Classic Walnuts, who in his doddering epic failure didn't notice the key thing about Powell's endorsement. HE'S a REPUBLICAN!

Here's a hap hap happy list of other Republicans who had to jump off the crazy bus.

* Colin Powell: Jesus, was that already a week ago? So what was the “Powell Effect,” if any? Pretty good, considering most endorsements don’t matter much. Gallup says 12% of voters are “more likely” to vote for Obama. And 80% of voters had actually heard about the endorsement, which is pretty good for you dummies.

* Ken Adelman: Neo-con insider, hired by Rumsfeld in the Nixon Administration and was a top guy both times Rumsfeld was defense secretary — under Ford and Bush Junior. “He introduced Cheney to Paul Wolfowitz at a Washington brunch the day Reagan was sworn in,” the New Yorker writes. Well, maybe he’s just trying to get some good karma before he dies. No impact with voters; nobody really knows him outside of Washington. But it gives more elderly Republican elitists the freedom to also break with McCain, because McCain is “impetuous, inconsistent, and imprudent; ending up just plain weird,” according to Adelman.


* William Weld: A U.S. attorney and Justice Dept. official hired by Giuliani during the Reagan administration, Weld was the Republican governor of Massachusetts from 1991-1997. God, it’s really the same dozen people who’ve been fucking up this country for half a century. So, Weld’s also trying to avoid the Fires of Hell, and has heartily endorsed the black communist Barack Obama.

* Arne Carlson: Former governor of Minnesota, lifelong Republican, this “maverick” said batshit goon Michele Bachmann’s freakout on Hardball helped make his decision to endorse Obama. Will matter to moderate Republicans and independents in MN, and could hurt Bachmann’s bloodied campaign, too.

* Scott McClellan: The former Bush spokesman is already a Demon-Queer to the wingnuts because of his mildly critical book about his White House years, so his Obama endorsement will not sway those people. But he’s well known because he was on the teevee all the time, promoting Bush and the GOP, so this could help in the mysteriously “undecided” category. Or those people might vote for Jennifer Aniston, who knows?

* C.C. Goldwater: The granddaughter of conservative saint Barry Goldwater says she will say yes to Kenyan Socialism, too — along with “my siblings and a few cousins.” The libertarian side of the GOP peeled away long before Obama got the Democratic nomination, but this might still matter in places where the Goldwater name is still powerful. Places like Arizona, where “favorite son” John McCain was famously hated by Barry Goldwater.

* Charles Fried: The solicitor general in Reagan’s second term and one of those few “conservative intellectuals” left on the planet, Fried was actually part of the McCain campaign until last week. After he endorsed Obama, Fried “asked that his name be removed from the several [McCain] campaign-related committees on which he serves.”

The real impact of these nearly daily defections from the GOP to Obama may just be in their relentlessness, the way each morning’s news has yet another prominent conservative renouncing John McCain and endorsing the Democrat. There is no modern precedent for this kind of painful, public dumping on the Republican candidate by Republican stalwarts — the last time it happened was 1964, when moderate Republicans washed their hands of Barry Goldwater for being an “extremist” and a scary loon who would get us all nuked. He wouldn’t become a saint until Reagan was elected in 1980.

And it was Ronald Reagan who, while running for governor of California just two years after LBJ slaughtered Goldwater 61%-38%, created the “11th Commandment,” to keep Republicans from eating their own:

“Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican.”

That’s dead now, too.

Comedy Store Obama Fundraiser

If you are a regular reader of this blog or even a casual one and you love me, you will go to this.

In 1492 they gave all the natives the clap.

Christopher Columbus, which means “Our Lord’s Anus” in Portuguese, was a famous wingnut racist who didn’t even know where he came from, but he was hired by a shadowy cabal of Spaniards and the Knights Templar to find an easier route to the emerging economies of Communist China, because the Islamo-Fascists had blown up the highway to Afghanistan!

Because “Cristóbal Colón” couldn’t even do basic math, he “computed” that the world was about seven miles around. So if he sailed west across the Atlantic, surely he would end up in Hong Kong in like four days. Everyone thought this was a great idea, in Spain. So the Knights Templar loaded all of Jesus’ mulatto children aboard Miss Maria’s Ford Pinto and off they sailed on the world’s first shitty Royal Caribbean Cruise. They landed in the beautiful Bahamas and gave all the locals syphilis, which is exactly what happens today at those “Sandals” all-inclusive resorts.

In October of 1500, he was arrested for constantly torturing everybody in the Haitian town he founded, Abu Ghraib.

Eventually, six weeks later, Franz Ferdinand let him out of prison and World War I began. Columbus spent his final crazy years writing a blog about how he was going to take Jerusalem back from the Iraqis.

So, no mail delivery today!

Break their back, crush their spirits

Break their back, crush their spirits
by kos
Thu Oct 09, 2008 at 11:14:58 AM PDT

See, here's the deal -- we're going to win the White House, we're going to win big in the Senate, and we're going to rack up big gains in the House. Republicans know this and are preparing for the worst. Now think of 2004 -- we really thought Kerry was going to pull it off. Remember that? And remember how utterly devastated we were when Bush pulled it off? The pain was so much worse because we expected to win.

So with conservatives bracing for the worse, they won't experience the kind of pain we did. Not unless we deliver a defeat even worse than their worst nightmares. And I'll be honest with you -- I want them to hurt as much as we did. I want their spirits crushed, their backs broken.

So the way we do that is we deliver a defeat worse than they every imagined. We do that by winning states that have no business turning Blue -- like North Carolina, Georgia, Indiana, and so on -- states that were easy Bush victories in 2004. We do that by electing a 60-seat supermajority in the Senate. We do that by defeating their leadership, like Mitch McConnell in the Senate. We do that by defeating their heroes, like wingnut go-to hero John Shadegg. We do that by making sure a record number of Americans reject conservative ideology, leaving it utterly discredited.

The day after the election, I want to see an electoral battlefield littered with defeated Republicans, their ranks demoralized, their treasury in heavy debt, and no real leadership to take the helm. I want a vacuum so complete, that a bloody leadership battle between the neocons, theocons, and corporate cons shakes the GOP to its core, and leaves it fractured and ill-equipped to stymie the progressive agenda, much less ramp up for an even bleaker (for them) 2010.

Guys, that's why I don't worry about complacency. We're not out to win this thing. We're out to crush them. And that's going to require a level of engagement beyond anything you've ever done before. It'll mean more phone banking, more canvassing, more donating. Work on this site keeps me from working the phones or walking precincts (my wife has helped out on those fronts), but I've surrendered a significant portion of my income, way more than my family can really afford, on behalf of the cause. We've all got something to offer, whether it's time or money, and now's the time to offer what we can.

One of my favorite cyclists likes to say, "Leave everything on the road", meaning that when he crosses the finish line, he will have burned every last ounce of energy in his body. If he falls short? No regrets because he gave it his all, every last bit of it.

We can't have regrets on Election Night, thinking that some Democrats came up short because we failed to leave everything on the road. We can't have a Jim Martin or a Bob Lord or a Darcy Burner or whoever come inches from victory, knowing that maybe we could've done just a little bit more to help them cross the finish line victorious. Even if all you can give is $5 to one candidate, or one afternoon phone banking, it still matters. There's a lot of us, and a lot of little gestures adds up to a whole lot of action.

We are approaching a historic night, and one that can radically transform the direction of our country.

Donate your time, donate your money.

Leave everything on the road.

Secretary of Taste

Unscripted television isn't my favorite. I don't mean unscripted like documentaries or Dirty Jobs, or Mythbusters even. No, I'm talking about all MTV programming and any sort of contest or race. From the parade of mediocrity that is Top Designer, to the painfully dull Next Producer and all the Rock of NY Love, or whatever the hell they are calling that tragedy now. I am not one for watching untalented people being fast tracked to fame and failure. Bo Bice, Taylor Hackford, where art thou?

There are two shows however, that manage to pit professionals against each other and may truly find true "Stars" within the talented ranks of their contestants by requiring professional results. One is TOP CHEF, and the other is PROJECT RUNWAY. Now, I was turned on to Project Runway by my roommate, who kicking and screaming, made me watch one episode of a marathon. Needless to say, I was impressed.

I'm not a fan of couture per-se, but certainly I am a fan of elegance and taste despite my facebook profile. During these monumental, hard fought, and historic elections, we had an enormous dichotomy in taste that i think highlights a major cultural divide in this nation.

To be frank, the last eight years have been some of the tackiest, most visually offensive and culturally bankrupt years in American history. And yes, that includes the reconstruction years when U.S Grant would walk around pants less, smoking a cigar and spitting bits of "Tabacky" on orphaned children. Even Queen Victoria remarked "We wish he would sport some trou."and ostracized that tacky boor. But the jingoism and chest beating of a post 9/11 world gave way to a free for all of our most base instincts, culminating in the superbly tacky Iraq war, awful imagery, and Britney Spear's breakdown.

Then, after Kerry's abortive attempt, and four more horrific years of "heh heh" from the White House, came the elections. It was a sight to behold really. Do we go with the lumbering tacky symbols and behavior of the last eight years? Or do we go with the smooth, visually pleasing, and classy change?

I could go on for hours about the "Wasilla Hillbillies" and their teen sex debut at the RNC, but the fact is, that now is the time for healing. We need to reach out to those who think THIS is ok.

Our president elect has decided to take the high road and, not rub it in dumb, gun-toting, racist, tacky ass red America's face, but rather bring them into the fold and thereby change the country, I mean SERIOUSLY change the country forever.

To this end, I recommend that President-elect Obama create the new cabinet-level post of Secretary of Taste. Furthermore I nominate Mr. Tim Gunn to fill the spot effective immediately.

I hardly need to give you Tim's credentials. He is the sleek asexual master of style that makes european monarchs look like inbred iron mongers.

Let's say, that GW Bush had tried to pass off the Iraq war on Tim. I can see the ever cautious Mr. Gunn saying
"Hmm. Ok, i can see what you mean to say here, but its not working for me. It feels rushed. Let's actually find some WMD's and I think that will make more sense. Ok? Just make it work."

Voila! One war/ quagmire avoided.

The fact is, that Tim Gunn is a careful methodical thinker. His every move and utterance is carefully calculated and phrased so as not to be disruptive, but rather constructive. THAT is what makes Tim Gunn a national treasure, and THAT is what this country needs more of.

No more knee jerk reactions, no more "Let's roll!" bumper stickers, no more mindlessly hating on the French, no more scapegoating, no more carelessness. As the inaugural looms in less than a week now, I return to my favorite quote from my favorite Kennedy "Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that." , and in the spirit of our new President and Project Runway, do our part to "Tame the Savageness of man" and avoid plaids and stripes.

SFW Porn

I'm a big fan of the corn on the cob and the inflatable raft.


Diesel's SFW XXX Party Clip - Watch more free videos

The Visual Campaign

I got a few inquires after I posted the photoshopped Mccain portrait in my post WHY I LOVE WALNUTS. Where did I get that picture? Is it fair? Are there equally awful renderings of Barry Hussein?

From the dreamy and beautiful "O" of the Obama campaign, to the disastrous green background that continues to plague Mccain, the visuals of this presidential election have been incredibly stark in contrast. Sometimes purposefully and sometimes completely by accident. I'd encourage you all to visit the visual blog BAG NEWS NOTES for some truly scholarly (and inevitably a bit leftist) analysis of the images brought into our concious and sub conscious through the media. I'd also like to throw a tip of the hat to one of my favorite political photographers Richard Avedon, who passed away nearly four years ago, but who's portrait of a newly arrived political star named Barack Obama, is the consummate portrait of youthful ideals and hope in a politician.




What I find astounding about Avedon's work is how politically biased it is, and yet how even "mistreated" subjects returned to his studio. The vague, even lost look on Reagan, which became even more telling after his affliction was made public. The Melting Bush the Elder, the Yes-Man Rumsfeld, and the saintly Carter. Simon Schama wrote on the subject in far greater detail, but I suggest you read his guardian article if the art holds you as it does me.

Paul Leonard Newman (January 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008)

Later, Butch

That's what she said.

Yes!

World Leaders: More badass than ever.

As if Barry Hussein and his mad ball skillz weren't enough.


As if Sarko's hottie new wife weren't the most badass move to rock the Palais de l'Élysée since Félix Faure died while getting a hummer.


As if Pooty Poot's Judo doesn't bring terrified chills to those who would cross him.


Here comes Taro Aso from the Japan. More like Bad Aso. Check out this vid of Taro in the 1976 Olympics Skeet Shooting.

Why I love Walnuts!

So John McCain tried to cancel the debates as the Economy (Which he clearly doesn't understand) tanks as badly as his poll numbers. Naturally, the Republicans are trying to paint this as some sort of Mavericky move that only a leader would try. I heard some GOP shill on the teevee saying "He thinks its so important to fix this problem, that he's willing to risk the presidency." Hahahahahaha! They are going to lose. The fact is that the McCain camp and the Obama camp had been in talks to issue a joint statement before Walnuts freaked out and tried to cancel the whole thing. Had this been a true bipartisan effort to discuss the issues at hand, Walnuts could have asked Barry to hold off. Instead he tried to blindside the Hussein Obama and single-handedly change the momentum of the election by drawing attention away from the issues. "HEY! HEY! Look at me! I'm canceling the debate! Pay no attention to the bill the president is trying to force through with no oversight!" Unfortunately for Walnuts, the debate schedule can't be changed and the Debate commission has told him to eff off, the debate will go on. Now of course, we all know for sure that Walnuts is not ready, nor is he even remotely familiar with what is happening with the economy or is he prepared to answer why his campaign manager was being given 15k a month by Freddie Mac. Barry rightly told the kooky old bat to stuff it, and the debate will go on. With or without walnuts.

The End.

Thumbs Down

BY ROGER EBERT Sun-Times Movie Critic
I think I might be able to explain some of Sarah Palin's appeal. She's the "American Idol" candidate. Consider. What defines an "American Idol" finalist? They're good-looking, work well on television, have a sunny personality, are fierce competitors, and so talented, why, they're darned near the real thing. There's a reason "American Idol" gets such high ratings. People identify with the contestants. They think, Hey, that could be me up there on that show!

My problem is, I don't want to be up there. I don't want a vice president who is darned near good enough. I want a vice president who is better, wiser, well-traveled, has met world leaders, who three months ago had an opinion on Iraq. Someone who doesn't repeat bald- faced lies about earmarks and the Bridge to Nowhere. Someone who doesn't appoint Alaskan politicians to "study" global warming, because, hello! It has been studied. The returns are convincing enough that John McCain and Barack Obama are darned near in agreement.

I would also want someone who didn't make a teeny little sneer when referring to "people who go to the Ivy League." When I was a teen I dreamed of going to Harvard, but my dad, an electrician, told me, "Boy, we don't have the money. Thank your lucky stars you were born in Urbana and can go to the University of Illinois right here in town." So I did, very happily. Although Palin gets laughs when she mentions the "elite" Ivy League, she sure did attend the heck out of college.

Five different schools in six years. What was that about?

And how can a politician her age have never have gone to Europe? My dad had died, my mom was working as a book-keeper and I had a job at the local newspaper when, at 19, I scraped together $240 for a charter flight to Europe. I had Arthur Frommer's $5 a Day under my arm, started in London, even rented a Vespa and drove in the traffic of Rome. A few years later, I was able to send my mom, along with the $15 a Day book.

You don't need to be a pointy-headed elitist to travel abroad. You need curiosity and a hunger to see the world. What kind of a person (who has the money) arrives at the age of 44 and has only been out of the country once, on an official tour to Iraq? Sarah Palin's travel record is that of a provincial, not someone who is equipped to deal with global issues.

But some people like that. She's never traveled to Europe, Asia, Africa, South America or Down Under? That makes her like them. She didn't go to Harvard? Good for her! There a lot of hockey moms who haven't seen London, but most of them would probably love to, if they had the dough. And they'd be proud if one of their kids won a scholarship to Harvard.

I trust the American people will see through Palin, and save the Republic in November. The most damning indictment against her is that she considered herself a good choice to be a heartbeat away. That shows bad judgment.

Happy LHC/CERN Day!

Today the LHC is turned on at CERN!


If the world were to end today, then it ended in pursuit of knowledge and not in barbaric mutual annihilation.
But we all know it won't end, and we'll be launched into a really exciting new era of understanding the world we live in.



From the BBC:

"On Wednesday the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) will send out a full particle beam, in preparation for an experiment that will re-create conditions just after the Big Bang.
The LHC will smash two beams of particles head-on at super-fast speeds. Scientists from Cern - the European organisation for nuclear research - hope to see new particles in the debris of these collisions.
There have been concerns that the experiment could open black holes that would swell in size and swallow up the Earth, but physicists stress that the planet is not under threat."


A COUPLE OF CERN EUROLICIOUS VIDS I UPLOADED TO THE YOUTUBES EXPLAINING THE LHC

THE LHC PROJECT



THE TIME MACHINE



For more awesome CERN Vids and Pics go HERE!

A Children's Treasury of Hatred, Lies, Ignorance, and Greed (RNC 08')

I've decided to reserve my comments on John McCain and Sarah Palin until after Walnuts delivers his speech tonight.

But before I start in with my elitist misogyny and ageism, I'd like to address the brass pair of the GOP. To present their losing nominee, the GOP in all its fervent glory,while beholden to the most corrupt and incompetent presidency of at least the last hundred years and proclaiming themselves as "REAL CHANGE" , paraded the most turdish trio of world-class hacks that have ever addressed a pack of vapid, howling, blood-thirsty, war mongering hate-douches. I refer of course to the lispful rat-demon Rudy 9u11iani, the pathetic pasty blob of sniveling treachery and self-loathing named Joe Lieberman, and "Folksy", lazy, lying, fucktard Fred Thompson of Hollywood (Via Tennesee).

While the DNC trots out Presidents and Vice Presidents, sitting Senators and civil rights leaders, the party of Nixon headlines a former mayor who's personal life and cheap politicizing of national tragedy will make future generations shit themselves with disbelief at early millennial politics. His stream of unbelievable bullshit and pathetic simplification of geopolitics continues to infect my sense of decency. Rudy Gulianni will be forever remembered as a man who had the opportunity for great things and instead squandered it for his own vulgar self interests by becoming a propagator of lies and a complete shill for a corrupt administration. Was he seriously STILL trying to make the case for Iraq being part of "The war on Terror"? Really? Osama Bin Laden in Iraq, right? That's what this guy was lisping at the head cases there, or at least insinuating.

This was their keynote speaker.


If you are a desperate party who is on the verge of being crushed by the weight of your own corruption and unlawful scandals, you tend to bring out some of the most loathsome trolls possible to rally the base and appeal to their base instincts. When you have no true moral compass, it makes sense to trot out an Armani clad, degenerate weasel to terrify you, while your mind continues to race with thoughts of wild, teenage hillbilly sex. They were practically foaming at the mouth.

Next you show just how great your candidate is by parading a loser. A Jew who hangs out with anti semites, a Democrat who hangs out with Republicans, or simply whomever will have him. Joe Leiberman is a sad sack of worthless turncoat. When you are a party who claims to have "Values" and those values are extolled by someone who lacks the moral strength to pick a side, you may as well join Joe on his toboggan of "Joementum" down shit hill.



In case your supporters hadn't drowned in hypocrisy, you feed them some more. You talk down to them. You assume because they are working class that the only thing they'll understand is hate and war and dialects. You hope that like "W" they'll want to share a beer with your party. But real working class people aren't doing so well, and they may say something like "Foreclosure" so you find an actor. You parade the lazy Frederick of Hollywood. You have him talk about your candidate in warm folksy tones. Why Sheeeit, he sounds like he's cheewin tabakky!

"That MUST mean they's gots our interests in minds, cuz this here beet colored actor boy tells us so. And the media hates us, jess like theys hated Ronnil Raygun. Hyuck Hyuck Hyuuuck."



I'm not going to rip on Alaska-lady Sarah Palin or on Walnuts just yet. I'm going to let Walnuts do his thing, that's all.

Have fun with your convention, guys!

Donald LaFontaine (August 26, 1940 – September 1, 2008)

Best of DNC

Holy moly! I know a few of you are out there seeking political guidance. We have so much to discuss! So much has happened, but i have to make sure everyone has seen the same things . So before we talk about Barry and Uncle Joe, before we talk about Hillz and Bubba, before we discuss Walnuts and find a nickname for Sarah Palin, lets make sure we saw the same things at the DNC in my home state's capital of DENVER.


Teddy made an appearance, which was awesome.



There was still fear of Party Disunity by PUMA retards as Hillz's speech loomed, and Tweety got into it with one particularly retarded Hilltard.



Then Seabiscuit Said some Stuff.


The Governor of Montana was awesome.


Hillz Rocked the House


As Did Bubba


and Joe


And Finally Barry



Everyone cried, and went home.

"Papa Jack" Arnold Weil (March 28, 1901 – August 13, 2008)

The World's Oldest CEO and Colorado Legend, "Papa Jack" Weil owner of Rockmount Ranch Wear in Denver, passed away at the ripe old Age of 107.

Weil was well-known for coining the phrase "The West is not a place, it is a state of mind." He was the first person to put snaps on Western shirts, patented the saw-tooth pocket design seen on many Western shirts, and was credited with inventing the bolo tie. He also helped design many of the costumes in Brokeback Mountain and Elvis' western wear in LOVE ME TENDER.

Weil's wife died in 1990, followed by his son Jack B. in 2008.

He claimed to have quit smoking at age 60, drinking at age 90 and eating red meat at 100. However, Weil said he had a shot of
Jack Daniel's twice a week for "medicinal purposes," specifically, to keep his blood thin.

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Isaac Lee Hayes, Jr. (August 20, 1942 – August 10, 2008)

He was a baaad motha ...