Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Andre the Giant Meets the Senator

Shepard Fairey whos "Obey" artwork has become a fixture of dissent in urban areas, has recently come out with a limited edition Obama print. Nifty stuff, huh?


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Pure Speculation, of course...

but my political instincts are going crazy over this potential teaming as the Democratic nomination.


Obama/Sebelius 08'????

Monday, January 28, 2008

Space: The final tourist trap

You may not know to look at the suave Hollywood Playa you see now, but in my High School days I was somewhat obsessed with the Star Trek. My girlfriend, in her recent trip to my family home in CO, gasped when in my closet she found a Starfleet Uniform circa season 5 of TNG. Oh friends, its true. To my defense, we always treated the Trek thing as "Nerd Chic", insuring that when my friends and I attended conventions, we did not wear our uniforms, and we treated the other nerds with derision.

So, when I found out that THIS
Picture 1
was going down, i gathered up my nerdiest friends and headed down.

The results were, less than exceptional. At nearly $40 a pop and with a working crew of carnies who showed neither knowledge of or enthusiasm for the exhibit, the result was less than less than spectacular.

Admittedly there were cool uniforms:

And Photo Ops ($15):

But truthfully, we were unimpressed.

Maybe it was the super-weak "Simulators"
Maybe the bored Carnie- Staff, who kept messing up the $15 photos, or maybe it was the "grand finale" where Will Wheaton leads us through a mind numbing "Adventure" that includes a shaking platform and a starship on strings.

By the time we are dumped out by the "gift shop" where there is nothing worth buying , we were so anti this place that I almost...almost didn't buy the "Bridge Shots" pictured above. Luckily for me they had run out of paper frames, and subsequently had dropped the price from 17 to 15.

In Starfleet, The Prime Directive dictates that there can be no interference with the internal affairs of other civilizations. I think the same needs to apply to Star Trek. Yeah, fun to watch, but don't interact. Its too far gone to be fun anymore.

The Clintons dissapoint.

Starting to look alike

Why Hill? Why Bill? I thought it was the other guys who played dirty. I thought our party played by the rules. John Kerry said "The high road may not be the easiest road to take, but it is the right one to take."

Maybe that's why he endorsed Senator Obama.

are beneath

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Charlie and Me

Some of my earliest and happiest childhood memories were of me and my grandfather going to the movies. Sometimes I'd drag my grandfather to see a movie of my choice, other times he'd find something and take me to it. Most famously i dragged my Grandpa and my Great Grandma, who was 90 at the time, to see THE DARK CRYSTAL. It was the last movie my great grandma ever saw, and I've always felt that was a victory for me.

Regardless my grandpa was a smart enough man to know that some things are timeless. He took me to see Bond Movies, and all sorts of war movies (Is BREAKER MORANT really appropriate for a 6 year old?) . However, the most lasting impressions for me were made by Charlie Chaplin, and Laurel & Hardy movies. To this day, my mother insists i walk like a duck because of my continuous impersonations of Charlie Chaplin. Now, as an adult with his own bowler and cane, and with all the Chaplin DVDs I could get a hold of, I'm happy to say that I've found the full length versions of some of Chaplin's most brilliant films, and some hilarious shorts online.

Explore for yourself if you like, but allow me some recommendations:


Before the famous character of the little tramp ever came to be, Charlie was making audiences roar with his hilarious stage act as a drunk. It was here where he was discovered, and in THE CURE we see precisely why Charlie was, according to Mack Sennet "The funniest stage drunk I'd ever seen"

Part 1

Part 2

The Gold Rush
This is the rerelease from 1942 where unfortunately Chaplin's own narration takes away from the original. Even then, it is a brilliant piece to watch. Look for the forks in the potatoes scene, made famous again by Johnnt Depp in BENNY AND JOON

The Kid
Beautiful, Hilarious, sentimental, and so very very of its time. It's nearly a textbook for depression era politics and issues.

We shall overcome...

My brother and i were happy to see civil rights pioneer, former Atlanta Mayor and family friend Andy Young on the Colbert Report last night.

We were even more psyched to see him singing a spiritual in solidarity with Stephen's striking writers.

Lest the AMPTP think they've scored a victory with the few returning shows, sing it gang!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

MLK Day ( A Bit late)

I usually post about MLK on his special day. I know this is late, but it is poignant and potent, as well as stylish and attractive.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Blogging From The Nevada Caucuses (Caucus Day)

Tropicana HQ: 5:45 AM
People are getting together to canvass neighborhoods, putting flyers on the doors of supporters with their caucus locations and instructions on caucusing.

Super greeter
Though my ensemble may look like a horrible faux pas / Obama fetish there is a method behind the madness. I was what was referred to as a "Super Greeter". Evidently in Iowa, people were very excited to see people who were very excited to be supporting Senator Obama. I dunno, it's Iowa. So the campaign had us out of towners dress like Obamaclowns of sorts. We were to pump up the crew while the Local team handled their Caucusees.

My Caucus Team
IMG_0506 My brother often chides me about the youth of the Obama supporters. Boy, he aint kidding. Because our district was considered small, the young uns from FL, CA, UT and AL were all tossed into our Caucus. The Average age of my team was..19 Aiee!

Fired up! Ready to Go!
IMG_0503 As our supporters began to show up at the Elementary School, we would sticker them so the Hillary people would KNOW which ones were ours, though admittedly it was easy to tell as people walked in. Obama supporters were a very diverse lot, Hillary's were not. In fact, mostly middle aged mommies and mostly white. I'm not hatin' , its just what I observed. So as our awesomely diverse supporters walked in and sat down in our area, we led them in the Official Obama Cheer. I'll let Senator Obama and Edith explain.

The Caucusing...
...took place in the cafeteria for District 1 and the Library for District 2. Unfortunately the Clinton people had arrived first and got a prime spot, we did however, outdo them in the Decor and Twizzlers for our supporters department. Then, the issues started. The Caucus Chair was short staffed so he picked some Hillary ladies, who put up their signs behind them. I told the Chair, that it made it all look Biased. Our chair, tells em to take it down. People begin showing up, and before we know it, there are not enough ballots. The Chair tells me to go get some downtown. I know, I didn't realize that the Strip wasn't downtown either. I walk into the Cafeteria where they are experiencing the same problem and the Clinton ladies are freaking out. I lie. I tell the Caucus chairs that in Iowa, we used regular pieces of paper with each individual's voter ID sticker on it. They fall for it and the Clinton ladies, the Caucus chairs, and my entire crew now think of me as an old hand at caucusing, and a veteran of the Obama camp. I will not disappoint. At 11:30, they closed the doors. Our instructions said that everyone would be allowed in till 12:00, 4 voters were waiting outside. They were denied entry. All the Obama people called "Shenanigans" and said that people should be allowed in, the Hillary camp to my shagrin shouted us down saying "Let's get this started!" I countered by saying "I thought it was the OTHER party who was opposed to letting people vote". Chuckles from Obama Edwards Kucinich Caucusers, dirty dirty looks from the Clinton PTA. We later filed an official "BS" claim.

Then the counting begins. By show of hands we caucus our supporters. Obama had 35 Clinton 43, Edwards 13, Kucinich had 2, 4 Undecideds. The Chair tallies, and says that for a candidate to be viable, they will need fifteen supporters. The edwards people need 2 to be viable, and the caucus chair gives us 5 minutes to plead our case. Tim and I highlight the differences between Senator Obama and Senator Clinton. A Kucinich supporter is not moved. She says "it sounds like they are the same person" . I take the podium, "It is difficult for us who are on different teams, but on the same side, to sound too dramatically different. Basically it comes down to direction. Senator Clinton's campaign would like to remind you of how great things were. We are trying to remind you how great we can still be." The Kucinich lady joined us.

In the end, we got most of the non viables but the Edwards camp, a resolute and over 50 bunch who were old-school union guys were able to keep their single state delegate. We got three delegates, and the Clinton camp got four.

Caucusing is a ridiculously complicated and long way of doling out delegates, but in my experience it is an unparalleled event in civic engagement and a true exercise of democracy in its purest form. It is not often you can plead your candidate's case and have it make an immediate difference. It was nothing short of thrilling.

By the time we returned, the whole thing had already been called for Hillary. Which Sucked. But then I learned that since we won more actual caucuses even though we didn't win the popular vote, we still got 6 Delegates to senator Clinton's 5... huh.
So we won, but we lost. Crazy stuff.

Just to leave out on an awesome note, here's some footage of MIchelle Obama at a rally angering and endearing herself to the crowd in a matter of minutes

Fired Up! Ready to go!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Blogging From The Nevada Caucuses (Camp Obama)

I left LA at 6:00 AM to go to LV

Blasted through the desert, and finally arrived in LV

Is this the right place?

Obama HQ at last

Grab my materials, and..

Hit the pavement with my new friends

Make calls

And set up for the rally

Yep.. that's him

Now, sleepy time, and up at 4:00 AM


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Piracy Primer

The DGA is beginning its negotiations with the AMPTP and once more the Internet becomes the sticking point, Steve Jobs announces internet deals with studios, the music industry reject a DRM free iTunes, and seals its doom, Alf has a blog. there's no denying it, the internets has reached Hollywood.

To add to the mayhem,awards season has plunked smack-dab into the middle of a strike-ridden tinsel town, and regardless of whether the shows go on or not, the screeners are out. Every year the studios send out hundreds of screeners to SAG , WGA, AAMPAS, and several other union and academy voting members to insure that the voting members have a chance to view their wares.

Sweeney Todd, No Country for Old men, Thee Will be Blood, Eastern Promises, Juno, and many more have been made available to the Hollywood community on an honor basis, with the tacit understanding that we all make our money this way, so its best not to pirate the screeners. Naturally, people would rather have the immediate personal gratification of a pirated disk than consider the effects on their industry at large. So every year, it is the unspoken reality that everyone plays "Trade the Screeners" with industry peers at all levels. But truly, what ARE the effects of a few dozen pirated screeners running rampant and (Gasp!) on the Internets?

For a few years now, my friends have heard me touting the superiority of the Disney business model over that of most major studios for having long ago included piracy as a component of the what drives the profit margins up or down. On the opposite side we are watching the obliteration of the music industry through their inability to deal with the dissemination of their product by the public. In a world where a kid in Hong Kong can produce a CG Optimus Prime, while the Transformers movie is a year away from beginning production, and DJ Danger Mouse creates a hit by remixing Beatles tracks on the grey album, how is the industry to survive the spread of ideas and intellectual property?

Admittedly, I am biased. I am a leftist and a blogger, with more "Stolen" images on my site than i care to admit to. Even then, i feel very strongly that the entertainment industry should heed the warnings of the music industry, and with as much respect to the late Jack Valenti as possible, adapt their business models to include the inevitable proliferation of material around the world, and to view the use of their material by third parties as a potential source of new materials rather than theft.

Heady stuff, huh?

To better understand the issue, I am posting the following three vids.

The first is a very basic explanation by Matt Mason (The Pirate's Dillema) on how youth culture has basically reinvented capitalism. He opens the doors to an exciting creative world that uses cool judgement to differentiate between "Good" and "Bad" piracy and utilizes the "good" as tracking tools for strong memes or the even more exciting notion of new ideas.

The second two are a history of the dissemination of ideas and how they can be compared to the case of the PIRATE BAY in Sweden, and to a certain extent a warning that there is no way to really prosecute, or stall piracy. Both very informational in regards to the trends which we are facing.

After watching these and pondering the huge implications, as an industry professional ask yourself "Do we fight pirates, or learn from them?" There is only one answer that can secure the future of this industry, and its best to understand it now before it passes you by.

**** I feel strongly enough about this that I would like to encourage my friends in the industry to pass this on. If you make your living off of entertainment and have not seen these movies and are familiarizing yourself with the subject matter, you are doing so at your own risk.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Worst case scenario...

Last night my brother and I were discussing the Republican candidates for the presidency, and were argufying as to which were the most offensive, and which would be the least destructive should they somehow gain a foothold on the white-house, through their hilarious bumbling.

So here it is, a Liberal ranking of the Republican candidates from most offensive to least.

1. Ron Paul ( Grand Dragon Paultard)


Why he's better than Bush: Anti-War, Anti Surveillance, Demands fiscal responsibility

Why he's still Fucked up: Anti Choice, Anti Gay, Pro-Gold Standard, Racist

His lunatic followers may all be ready to guzzle the Kool Aid, but don't let their "Evolution/Revolution" bullshit fool you. This guys has written in racist publications, been endorsed by Neo Nazis, and voted in a backwards manner, that makes even your everyday Jesus Freaks look temperate, and your workaday Republican hypocrisy look tame. His followers are always quick to make excuses for him, when White Supremacists give him their endorsement, or when you look at his anti woman, anti gay voting record. Why make excuses? Why not just not align yourself with Neo Nazis? Sure, every politician has weirdo supporters, but Ron Paul's nut job supporters are a little to Nutty and a little too close for comfort.

Choice Vids:

NAZIS Explaining why they love Ron

Tim Russert Exposing some cute Hypocrisy

2. Rudy Giulianni (9iu11iani)


Why he's better than Bush: Supposedly Gay-Friendly, Supposedly Pro-Choice, Supposedly for Gun Control,

Why he's still fucked up: Supposedly Gay-Friendly, Supposedly Pro-Choice, Supposedly for Gun Control,

9iu11iani's record as generalissimo of NYC speaks for itself. Being able to "clean up" a city while only mildly abusing power and trouncing civil liberties is one thing, but translating that to the national stage is another. Rudy has been proven time and again to be a an egomaniac with despotic tendencies. Couple those tendencies with stomach churning-infidelities, and an ability for pandering that would make Dick Cheney blush, and we have ourselves THE DECIDER2.0. This is the man who spoke at abortion rights rallies in the 90's and then sought Pat Robertson's endorsement. I know, 9/11, 9/11...

Choice Vids:

Crossdressing Prez

What do you plan to do about crime?

3. Mike Huckabee (Teh Huckbeez)


Why he's better than Bush: Isn't too keen on the death penalty, understands the need for social programs, not too keen on Iraq

Why he's still fucked up: Former Baptist Preacher, Anti Choice, Anti Woman, Anti Gay, Anti-Science, Anti AIDS Victims

Teh Huckbeez is a likable man. he lost weight, he plays the guitar, he's got a pleasant drawl, he's appeared on Colbert numerous times. Unfortunately behind the seemingly self-conscious yokel, lies a Born Again who would make you wish he hadn't been in the first place. Along with the common Jesusy notions that women should be subservient to their husbands, and that AIDS patients should be quarantined, Teh Huckbeez also suggested we stop allowing Illegals from Pakistan from flooding our country and taking our jobs, in response to questions about the current crisis in Pakistan. "Aw, shit. All Browns People is bad anyways. Let's bomb Mexistan!" Sorry, but we already had one hillbilly president.

Choice Vids:

National Igloo

Radical Cleric

4. Fred Thompson (Frederick of Hollywood)


Why he's better than Bush: Uhhh...

Why he's still fucked up: Ummm...

Who the hell IS this guy? By all accounts he's a lazy worker, has accomplished nothing politically, and he'll be dead in a year. Are the Repubs so desperate that they are willing to trot out any mediocre actor just for the memory of Reagan? Why not trot out Reagan's corpse? It'll probably have a better work ethic.

Choice Vids:

Nixon on Fred

There's No Business

5. Mitt Romney (Mittens)


Why he's better than Bush: Supposedly Gay-Friendly, Supposedly Pro-Choice, Supposedly for Gun Control, Supposedly Opposed to the War,

Why he's still fucked up: Supposedly Gay-Friendly, Supposedly Pro-Choice, Supposedly for Gun Control, Supposedly Opposed to the War,

I don't think Mittens is a bad man, but he is a simple man who does not seem to think clearly and has obviously sold out many of his views to be elected one way or another. The result is someone who wants to be elected, because he thinks he should. Not because he believes in anything, not because he has good ideas. It Smacks too much of Dubya.

Choice Vids:

Mittens Vs. Teddy

A Wide Stanced Endorsement

6. John McCain (Walnuts!)


Why he's better than Bush: Is he? In the 2000 campaign he ran as the anti-bush and nearly won the Republican nomination. Then, he capitulated. Why? Is the straight talking McCain still in there?

Why he's still fucked up: He's been the mouthpiece for the Bush administration for so long, he may have forgotten his centrist roots.

Walnuts is so sad. Walnuts was a centrist who made sense and appealed to both sides. He talked no nonsense and had an admirable record. Then Walnuts went apeshit. He's been the biggest supporter of the current administration of any of the candidates and he's so old and crazy that he's said things like "Bomb Iran" and "Tar Baby". Fuck almighty! Is Walnuts the Manchurian candidate? Did Karl Rove break him? Too sad, too old, too bad.

Choice Vids:

Straight Talk


Let's just take a look at the Republican field one more time, folks!


Thank god I'm a Democrat.

Friday, January 11, 2008

My realistic and somewhat verifiable expectations for the duration of the Writer's Strike.

I have been running the scenarios over and over in my head as to what may happen, or what will bring an end to this tedious and harmful labor dispute. I came up with this theory last month, and the more people I run it by, the more I am convinced that I may be right... unfortunately.

I don't expect this strike to be over till August or September for the following reasons listed in hypothetical chronological order

1. The studios plan to allow force majeure clauses to be enacted. Dec. -Jan

2. Once so many contracts are in need of renegotiation it would be in their best interest to skip a costly pilot season altogether, and cancel the Network's shitty programming choices and "dead weight" programs. Feb-Mar

3. By skipping pilot season they can use the growing the desperation within the industry to try and put more pressure on the writers, and try to use the Oscars as a way to turn popular support against the WGA. Mar-Apr

4. It is then in the best interest of the writers not to give in, but rather have the added clout of a DGA/ SAG strike. Apr-Jun

5. It will optimistically take the Studios 2 months to negotiate with 3 striking unions. July-Aug..Sept?

The only caveat is the seeming willingness of the AMPTP to negotiate with the DGA as if THEY were the voice of reason, and the WGA's demands were lunatic. Considering that all three Unions are basically negotiating the same issues, the possibility of a DGA deal underlies the basic personality conflicts that have escalated this stupid stupid strike. What the hell? If there's enough money to go around, spread the friggin wealth, and let's get back to work!

*** The opinions expressed in this blog do not represent the opinions of my employers or my clients, so don't take it out on them.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

GUEST COMMENTARY: Bruce Schneider on running an Open Wireless Network

Whenever I talk or write about my own security setup, the one thing that surprises people -- and attracts the most criticism -- is the fact that I run an open wireless network at home. There's no password. There's no encryption. Anyone with wireless capability who can see my network can use it to access the internet.
To me, it's basic politeness. Providing internet access to guests is kind of like providing heat and electricity, or a hot cup of tea. But to some observers, it's both wrong and dangerous.
I'm told that uninvited strangers may sit in their cars in front of my house, and use my network to send spam, eavesdrop on my passwords, and upload and download everything from pirated movies to child pornography. As a result, I risk all sorts of bad things happening to me, from seeing my IP address blacklisted to having the police crash through my door.
While this is technically true, I don't think it's much of a risk. I can count five open wireless networks in coffee shops within a mile of my house, and any potential spammer is far more likely to sit in a warm room with a cup of coffee and a scone than in a cold car outside my house. And yes, if someone did commit a crime using my network the police might visit, but what better defense is there than the fact that I have an open wireless network? If I enabled wireless security on my network and someone hacked it, I would have a far harder time proving my innocence.
This is not to say that the new wireless security protocol, WPA, isn't very good. It is. But there are going to be security flaws in it; there always are.
I spoke to several lawyers about this, and in their lawyerly way they outlined several other risks with leaving your network open.
While none thought you could be successfully prosecuted just because someone else used your network to commit a crime, any investigation could be time-consuming and expensive. You might have your computer equipment seized, and if you have any contraband of your own on your machine, it could be a delicate situation. Also, prosecutors aren't always the most technically savvy bunch, and you might end up being charged despite your innocence. The lawyers I spoke with say most defense attorneys will advise you to reach a plea agreement rather than risk going to trial on child-pornography charges.
In a less far-fetched scenario, the Recording Industry Association of America is known to sue copyright infringers based on nothing more than an IP address. The accused's chance of winning is higher than in a criminal case, because in civil litigation the burden of proof is lower. And again, lawyers argue that even if you win it's not worth the risk or expense, and that you should settle and pay a few thousand dollars.
I remain unconvinced of this threat, though. The RIAA has conducted about 26,000 lawsuits, and there are more than 15 million music downloaders. Mark Mulligan of Jupiter Research said it best: "If you're a file sharer, you know that the likelihood of you being caught is very similar to that of being hit by an asteroid."
I'm also unmoved by those who say I'm putting my own data at risk, because hackers might park in front of my house, log on to my open network and eavesdrop on my internet traffic or break into my computers. This is true, but my computers are much more at risk when I use them on wireless networks in airports, coffee shops and other public places. If I configure my computer to be secure regardless of the network it's on, then it simply doesn't matter. And if my computer isn't secure on a public network, securing my own network isn't going to reduce my risk very much.
Yes, computer security is hard. But if your computers leave your house, you have to solve it anyway. And any solution will apply to your desktop machines as well.
Finally, critics say someone might steal bandwidth from me. Despite isolated court rulings that this is illegal, my feeling is that they're welcome to it. I really don't mind if neighbors use my wireless network when they need it, and I've heard several stories of people who have been rescued from connectivity emergencies by open wireless networks in the neighborhood.
Similarly, I appreciate an open network when I am otherwise without bandwidth. If someone were using my network to the point that it affected my own traffic or if some neighbor kid was dinking around, I might want to do something about it; but as long as we're all polite, why should this concern me? Pay it forward, I say.
Certainly this does concern ISPs. Running an open wireless network will often violate your terms of service. But despite the occasional cease-and-desist letter and providers getting pissy at people who exceed some secret bandwidth limit, this isn't a big risk either. The worst that will happen to you is that you'll have to find a new ISP.
A company called Fon has an interesting approach to this problem. Fon wireless access points have two wireless networks: a secure one for you, and an open one for everyone else. You can configure your open network in either "Bill" or "Linus" mode: In the former, people pay you to use your network, and you have to pay to use any other Fon wireless network. In Linus mode, anyone can use your network, and you can use any other Fon wireless network for free. It's a really clever idea.
Security is always a trade-off. I know people who rarely lock their front door, who drive in the rain (and, while using a cellphone) and who talk to strangers. In my opinion, securing my wireless network isn't worth it. And I appreciate everyone else who keeps an open wireless network, including all the coffee shops, bars and libraries I have visited in the past, the Dayton International Airport where I started writing this and the Four Points Sheraton where I finished. You all make the world a better place.

Bruce Schneier is CTO of BT Counterpane and author of Beyond Fear: Thinking Sensibly About Security in an Uncertain World.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Sgt. Pepper Deconstructed

Some talented fella managed to seperate the tracks of Sgt. Pepper, and the result is an undenaible testament to musical genius.

The visual symetry of the finished product is astounding.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Go Tell Momma!

In case you were not aware, I have decided to throw my full support behind the campaign of Barack Obama. To that extent I would like to warn my firends and neighbors that the House on Orange will be housing an extra roommate in Feburary.

An Obama staffer will be sleeping on our couch for the duration of the campaign in California.

He or she will feel very welcome no doubt, on our cozy couch.

Furthermore, yours truly will be working in Las Vegas in 2 weeks supporting team Barry during the Nevada Primaries.

I am very serious about the sort of change needed during this election, and I feel Senator Obama is the only one offering it. Join our movement, and enjoy the clip.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Dave's Back!

Proving that the Writer's demands aren't crazy, World wide Pants has penned a deal that allows both Craig ferguson and Dave
Letterman's venerable Top 10 list was delivered on air by 10 of the real-life striking writers who picket almost daily with the Letterman scribes. Here it is:


Top 10 Demands of the Striking Writers
10. The Daily Show's Tim Carvell: "Complimentary tote bag with next insulting contract offer."
9. The Colbert Report's Laura Kraft: "No rollbacks in health benefits, so I can treat the hypothermia I caught on the picket lines."
8. Soap writer Melissa Salmons: "Full salary and benefits for my imaginary writing partner, Lester."
7. Law & Order: Criminal Intent's Warren Leight: "Members of the AMPTP must explain what the hell AMPTP stands for."
6. The Colbert Report's Jay Katsir: "No disciplinary action taken against any writer caught having inappropriate relationship with a copier."
5. The Daily Show's Steve Bodow: "I’d like a date with a woman."
4. Writer/director Nora Ephron: "Hazard pay for breaking up fights on The View."
3. Law & Order's Gina Gionfriddo: "I’m no accountant, but instead of us getting 4 cents for a $20 DVD, how about we get $20 for a 4-cent DVD?"
2. Late Night's Chris Albers: "I don’t have a joke – I just want to remind everyone that we’re on strike, so none of us are responsible for this lame list."
1. Writer Alan Zwiebel: "Producers must immediately remove their heads from their asses."

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